I think I'm a system???
Okay so i don't know how to explain this in a way I don't sound like I'm trying to either fake it?? (Even I'm not sure) Or like say something wrong. But i think i have or am a system? I might. I'm really confused and a little scared and I'd like help or guidance if possible from anyone who has more information on the matter.
The thing is, i (FtM18) have had a ton of mental health issues since i was really young due to trauma, CPTSD and stuff, including dissociation, delusions and psychotic disorders that had been treated with professional help. But I've never been that open about the fact that i feel like sometimes I'm not on my body or i turn off my mind and somehow am doing something else or something happened?? Like, I'm in the body sometimes but I'm not controlling it and i even think i know this other persons? And I've had time to know them, they have different names, ages, preferences, they even have like, full on life events that apparently happened to me and I'm just finding out from friends or family but these other people know? And they're not too many i think, but this is really scaring me because it's all so new but also i think i was ignoring it a lot. Because i always felt this way but i blamed it on my other symptoms of CPTSD but what if, and i sometimes i have memories come back to me and I'm so confused and i don't want to feel like I'm appropriating or faking anything, i swear i already have enough going on in my life, but for the people who do know they're a system or have DID is there something you can tell me or guide me somehow? I don't know how to take this whole new possibility.
I will obviously talk with my psychiatrist about this next time i see him but I'm really nervous.