Hi all. For context, I am a 20 yo female in a profession where I cannot formally be diagnosed with anything to do with mental health, though I have been diagnosed with anxiety in the past.
I am looking for some community, I guess. Here is what I experience and am hoping that some of you out here may share my experiences and may help me put a name to it. My current therapist (kind of, more of a counselor) suspects I have ADHD but i, again, can't be formally diagnosed with anything or prescribed medication. My partner believes I am autistic. I do not like to self-diagnose, but things are getting to a point where it is detrimental to my academics and social life and I am willing to try anything that will help.
- I struggle to begin tasks to the point where I have received paperwork and poor grades because I have turned assignments in late.
- I experience periods of obsession over topics or activities that cause me tk neglect other social, academic, and physical needs.
- I experience adversities to specific textures, sounds, etc.
- On the other side of that coin, I will sometimes get a mental itch that only certain stimulants (smells or tastes) will scratch.
- I find it hard to relate to my partner when they are sharing personal experiences and can almost never comfort them in a way that is satisfying for either of us and it has been detrimental to our relationship (this is new. It has not always been so difficult)
- I am at times adverse to sexual intimacy and want nothing to do with it, but at others quite the opposite. I cannot predict when either will happen.
- I am extremely defensive right off the cuff when someone makes a pass at me, even if joking. I do not enjoy this and have tried not to be but it is often a knee-jerk response.
- I struggle with timing. At times, I will be way too early and late at others.
- My partner has told me I come off as rude without at all meaning to or understanding why I am perceived that way.
- At times I struggle very hard to connect my mind to my mouth. This makes me appear much less thoughtful or intelligent than I am, like I do not have answers or that the answers I do have are not well thought out.
- On the train of thoughts, I have recently learned thay my thinking process is very different than thaf of my peers. I do not think things out very much and have a hard time connecting concepts to actions. (Say, a mathematical concept is hard for me to connect to its corresponding question on a test. I will often struggle to connect the two and thus not know how to complete it. Very much has impacted my grades, especially in math.)
- I relate to rejection-sensitive dysphoria. I have cried in the past over someone rejecting me/ saying no to very small things and it feels extremely disproportionate.
- I struggle with mood swings and inexplicable irritability. I will be fine on my own, but as soon ad i interact with someone I will find myself irrationally frustrated or upset.
Among other things.
Please let me know your thoughs. Cheers!