u/Hungry_Fail8807

My twin has always been the runner, never believed we were twin flames, never was willing to commit to anything serious. We've been talking again for about 9 months and there's been talk about meeting up when he moves closer in September. He called me last week and it just felt different, I felt like it was too much and like my heart just wasnt in it the way that it's always been. I've always been the one wanting a life with him and now I'm just questioning whether that's truly something I would want practically. We're so similar in our dreams and our goals but he's also much more impulsive and reckless than me and I feel like having to form a life with someone like that would send me to an early grave because I'm extremely risk averse. Anyway so today he calls me and he tells me he thinks we're meant to be together and I just don't think I want that anymore? Like it feels like we're magnets and before I was being pulled but now somehow I'm being repelled? Has anyone else felt this way? If I didn't know any better I'd say it was a false twin flame but I know that's not true because I've lived on the other end of this for so long and I've seen all the shit that would otherwise make no sense if he wasn't my twin flame. It just feels very strange to have switched roles.

How do we earn them? I've been playing on and off today probably half an hour combined and haven't gotten any cards. What's the criteria to get them?

I had a dream a while back about my deceased grandmother and her deceased dog. I don't remember what was said but it seemed like just a normal situation, I was playing with the dog and I was excited to see him after so long and me and my grandma had a small conversation I don't think anything important was said but I do remember having a feeling she was upset that I was so distracted by the dog and not talking to her as much. It felt too normal and too coherent though, my dreams are usually all over the place and don't make much sense in waking life. When I woke up I started crying because it felt so real and I feel like maybe they just came to say hi to me. Has anyone else had this happen?

Before going no contact almost 7 years ago, my twin flame told me to think of him when I hear the song Everytime We Touch by Cascada. Me and my twin had never met in person and that song had no prior significance as inside jokes or anything so I feel like he might've been partially trying to be funny and lighten the mood during the tough time we were facing, I also like to think that he resonated with that song when thinking about our connection, despite the fact that we had never actually met and that he denied us being twin flames. Even after all this time that song still puts me in my feels in a sort of bittersweet way.

I don't really know who's running and who's chasing right now because I feel like I keep flipping back and forth. My DM said I'm confusing him because 1 minute I'm saying I can't leave my bf and that we need to go no contact then the next I break no contact and call him. Obviously I don't want to go no contact, my actions are saying that. I'm confusing him because I'm confused right now I don't know which decision to make. I want union and that still can't happen til he moves back but what if it doesn't work out and I just destroyed my relationship over something that can't work? I feel like maybe it could this time but I have no idea until the time comes and in the meantime I don't know what to do. I feel like we're in a weird limbo where the balance keeps shifting day to day, it feels like a never ending game of tug of war lately.