For some background information, my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. For the past couple months I have felt that we are no longer connecting on an emotional physical or mental level. I am currently working as a bartender as well as being a full-time university student, studying a bachelors degree in mental health/social work. My boyfriend has no interest in getting an education and currently works at a scrap metal yard.
We used to both smoke weed at the beginning of the relationship but I no longer smoke and haven’t for a year and a half now whereas he smokes daily. So often I am dealing with someone who is stoned. He has cut done heaps on it and only ever smokes at night to wind down.
Our communication isn’t the best, many arguments have been had. Majority of our arguments involve me trying to bring up an issue or a problem I am having and being met with aggression and defensiveness. I have pointed this out to him to which he has been trying to improve on.
Most of our conversations are very surface level and involve me trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation but in the end feels like I’m pulling teeth for a well thought out response. I am the type of person who enjoys diving into different topics and analysing the possible psychology behind it, whereas he doesn’t have much to say.
We no longer have a sex life as I felt that I wasn’t connecting to him and was not craving it or looking forward to it. I used to think it was due to birth control that I was taking then stopped taking it in hopes it would help but it didn’t. it took me awhile to realise that it was just due to not being or feeling overly connected to him.
In other factors of our relationship, he is caring, loyal and gentle. he shows up when he needs to spoils me on birthdays and anniversary and takes care of me when needed. I just feel that we have very different opinions on fun, money, education, marriage and family. we also come from two different cultures and backgrounds.
Any amount of advice would help!!!