I’ve been a SAHM for almost 2 years and I realized lately that I don’t really enjoy it. I do think I am less stressed than I was when I worked full time, and so I have more mental/emotional capacity to be a better mother. But it feels like I went from not having mental bandwidth to be a good mother to now having plenty but still not enjoying it.
My SIL is amazing and has stayed home with all 4 of her kids. She does a truly incredible job of “entering into their world” constantly during the day and is so great at meeting them where they are, being playful, slowing down to allow them to learn and explore, etc. I am so jealous of how easily she does this and how she seems to enjoy it so much because I do not. I feel so guilty because all I crave all day is time to myself and I dream of going back to work so I can solve adult problems and feel the gratification of work success. It feels so hard to put extra effort into playing with them when my entire day already revolves around caring for them.
Some days are better than others, and I definitely do find pockets of time where I think to myself “I’m so lucky I get to be with them instead of at work right now” but those moments are fleeting. Just wondering if anyone can relate and if you have found a way to combat these feelings or be a little more grounded?