I'm 18M, shes 18F. I've just recently went through an avoidant discard, maybe? I'm trying to make sense of it and would really value some outside perspective.
We were seeing each other for 9 months, not official. It was real, face to face, not a situationship. Concerts, late-night talks, full day dates, a beach trip two hours away, and promises of a future. Feelings was mutual.
Everything changed when I quit a campus event. It was a voluntary, unpaid thing where I felt disrespected. I tried to resolve it professionally first, was ignored, so I resigned bluntly via a short message. She heard that from me, got triggered, and somehow it connects to her past (her explanation makes 0 sense). We talked it out for almost 4 hours (oh yeah at the talk she admitted she's an avoidant, nice info i guess?) it didn't go anywhere. Then she asked for a month of break to think, but she made the decision in 3 days. She discarded me in a 20 minute conversation in a random thursday morning in the middle of campus, cold tone, no real explanation, no "sorry," no "thank you". She then called me "girl" (her way of labeling a male as a friend) and when I quietly removed her from my second Instagram account, she retaliated by blocking me everywhere, WhatsApp, that account, everything except my main public IG.
My friends say her actions make zero sense. Her confidants apparently didn't care. No rumors have spread. I didn't explode, didn't beg, didn't post any angry rants.
But the blocking still confuses me. If she truly didn't care, why block me? Why still watch my public stories from the one place she didn't block? What is she feeling right now?
I'm just looking for some honest insight. Is this textbook avoidant deactivation? Will the guilt ever hit her? And why do I feel like I'm the one who's somehow handling this "too calmly"? Should i or should i not wait for her to "change"?
And please do tell me some good ways to cope with this from anyone that faced a similar situation.
Thanks in advance (today as i write this is 1 week after discard).