AIO for refusing to take my stepkids on vacation without their dad?
I’m 34F and my husband is 37M. We’ve been together for about five years and have a three-year-old daughter together. He also has two daughters from a previous relationship who are 13 and 11.
Every year, my family takes a big vacation together. Sometimes it’s Disney World or Disneyland, sometimes a beach trip, a cabin, a cruise, or even trips out of the country. Over the years we’ve gone to places like Canada, Mexico, and New York.
I have taken my stepkids on family trips before, but only when my husband is also there. If he can’t go, I don’t take them.
The reason is not that I don’t care about them. It’s that they don’t really listen to me or respect me in a parental role, and it becomes stressful in crowded places.
They tend to wander off in stores, ignore instructions, and say things like “you’re not my mom” when I try to correct them. A few weeks ago, one of them even wandered off in Walmart without telling me while I was shopping. I didn’t know where she went and panicked trying to find her. She was just in the makeup aisle, but I had no idea at the time and it really scared me.
After that, my husband and their mom both talked to them about safety and listening, and they promised they would do better. But I honestly still feel uneasy about it.
This year, my nephew is graduating, and my family picked California and Disneyland for our trip. My husband can’t go because of work, so I told him I don’t feel comfortable taking the girls this year.
The girls are upset and say they haven’t been on a “real” fun trip in about two years. I reminded them that we did take them on a winter cabin trip this year, but they don’t really count that the same way.
After that, my husband and their mom talked to them again. The girls promised they would behave and stay with the group, but I still don’t fully trust it.
I told my husband I don’t want to be responsible if something happens while we’re out of state. I love them, but I also feel like I’m not their parent, and if they ignore me and something goes wrong, I would be blamed.
My husband thinks I should give them another chance and let them go. Their mom understands my concerns but also thinks I should just try.
I feel like this isn’t about punishment, it’s about safety and knowing my limits. I don’t feel confident managing them alone in a crowded place while also watching my three-year-old.
AIO for refusing to take my stepkids on vacation without their dad?