I don't know what i am getting myself into
Hi everyone! I (20F) am currently with my boyfriend (21M) and we have been together for over a year. I love him a lot, but recently, I have been getting anxious again. He wants to become a ( combat) Marine Officer and is currently in a program, he is graduating in a year. I've known this for a while and for the most part, it feels like I can do it. Then, other days, as bad as it is, I just want to leave and eventually be with someone who can build a life with me equally. I feel discouraged because I see post after post about how it's extremely hard, almost sacrificial to be a military spouse and it makes me worried about what the future can look like, especially since he's making this a career.
I want to be married eventually, preferably at 22 and have kids around that same age, so I know my wants fit the military timeline (haha), but when I realize that means I'll likely be a single mom in a marriage, I get worried again. I just don't know exactly what I am getting myself into and I especially can't tell with him since right now, the future isn't us for him, it's him. He says he can see himself getting married to me and whatnot, but he's also riding the wave, which I understand.
For me, currently in college, graduating soon, I see my peers with relationships that don't feel like there's an odd "impending doom" over their head. I know everything will likely be fine, but when I realize the amount of distance there will be, it all feels like something I will have to adapt to. What does he have to adapt to? That's unfair to say, but it's true. It's his career and his decision, but it impacts us both. I love him very much, I am proud of him for getting this far, but as it gets closer, my worries have intensified. Does it get better?