u/Hereibe

They’re supposed to be cinnamon rolls. I may not have had live yeast either, but I did put what I thought was live yeast in. At this point I’m baking them for science, because it’s the middle of a snowstorm.

I spent hours on these poor bastards. Godspeed to the world’s saddest cinnamon rolls, see you in thirty minutes.

edit: I was posting these live in the thread as this was unfolding, but for the newcomers here are the results + further shenanigans https://imgur.com/a/qDeMWmr

The geniuses in this comment section have solved the mystery. I truly didnthaveeggs’d these poor bastards:

1. I used iodized salt instead of kosher salt. u/CrashUser was the one to figure that out from the fact the results tasted salty. Apparently using too much salt (and idolized is more compact than kosher so more salt per scoop) kills the yeast. That poor yeast died a redditors death.
2. I used salted butter instead of unsalted, compounding the problem (there is a compound butter joke to be made there somewhere)
3. I didn’t adjust for elevation at all
4. And of course, no corn starch