u/HerBurnerAcc

i want to preface this by saying i may just be a little extra emotional today because of several piling factors (death by paper cuts situation), so this may seem a bit dramatic.

ive always noticed that no one reaches out to me first, but it’s recently really started hurting me. it feels as if i’m a burden to be friends with, or that it’s a chore to talk to me. im always overly receptive when my friends want to vent, talk about their interests, or just want a chat. but 9/10 times, it’s not reciprocated. im very often left on read/delivered, or ignored entirely by the other party going on about their thing instead.

i understand that people don’t spend every waking second on their phone, and life gets busy. but even when i dont have time, i make time because i love my friends and i cannot fathom ignoring them or going several days/weeks without communication.

im trying to give as much grace as i can, because maybe there are factors i havent considered or just don’t know about. im still hurt, though.

today these feelings are extra amplified since three of my friends all left me on seen. one of which i was expressing hesitance after my father (whom i don’t speak to) reached out to me. i had conflicting emotions and wanted to express that (we’ve been friends since middle school, this wasnt a random dump on an acquaintance). i was left on read. with my other friend, i was reaching out to check in on them since i haven’t heard back in a while. we’ve been best friends since kindergarten. i was left on read. the third im less concerned about since it’s a boy i’ve been on a single date with.

on top of that, my best friend forgets our plans despite planning for a month in advance, is often late or cancels entirely. it really really hurts. i feel as if people don’t care about me the same way i care about them.

im having a hard time articulating myself because i’m semi worked up about it, but i’m sure you get the gist.

i have talked about this before with the ones im closest with, but nothing changes. i love them so much, i dont want to give up on them.

i guess i just feel alone and not sure who to tell, so im telling you guys

Does anyone know any (preferably discreet) smoke spots in Lynnwood? I enjoy smoking outside but I’d like to avoid children and people if possible. Hoping to find a less occupied trail or something?