u/HelloDeathspresso

Tastes kind of bitter.

I sort of compulsively grabbed one of those birds from the grocery store parking lot today because it was right by my car and wasn't that scared of me. This mean guy at work made fun of me because I said I didn't have any pets, and it was really bothering me, so I figured I could keep a bird and train it.

He bit me a lot. I already named him Col Sanders, and he really likes these dino nuggies. Im going to train him to steal.

My ex fiancés mom has injured her back and reached out to me asking for her Tens machine back. Of course, I said yes, even though it was a gift given to me back in November when I injured my back. I could never do anything to upset my ex future mother in law who I never speak to, especially over a used medical device that would probably cost $30 brand new on Amazon and get shipped overnight. Never mind the fact that she is very well off, lives in a gated community in a nice house on a golf course, and is an active member of a country club. My fingers couldn't type "yes" fast enough!