u/Hellfire_God

Ok, so I AM lonely, not in the psychological way but in the isolating way, I'm a foreigner with social anxiety so I actually have got nobody to reach out and no place to go, no family, nothing

But I do have a couple online friends, some found here in this sub, actually. However, we mostly speak about issues or money struggles and nothing about actual interests because we are simply different people, and I quit drugs and partying and dont quite do much so it's fairly hard to have interests met indeed. So if you need a friend, and have the same interest in the following (or just need a friend, truly, you don't have to be alone there mate) hit me up:

- Games, most specifically souls-like games, Pokémon (!!), Zelda, Minecraft etc

- Metal, most specifically I am into power metal, doom metal, black metal but nothing reaches what dungeon synth does to me

- Philosophy, I studied philosophy and I read a lot, from psychoanalysis to existentialism, anything on the aspect is either met with enthusiasm, or curiosity

- Languages, I speak 4 so far but also understand quite a lot of some other languages as well

- Anything dark medievalish, dark fantasy, d&d, drawings, music, aesthetic, clothing, story telling, books, films, hell yea

- Poetry, I am also a poet

- Lord of the rings !!

- Cooking, sharing recipes or just sharing what you cooked/plan to cook, I spend a lot of time at my kitchen (vegetarian, migrating towards veganism)

- Books in general

- Old weird cult black and white films made in a 14€ budget

- I don't do sports anymore besides calisthenics and running but sports could also go, I did skateboarding, fighting, swimming, football, biking and hiking, besides gym (if you are in this subreddit, you could use gym btw, it's good for meeting people and getting your head out of these dark caves, they dont pay as much attention as you think, you got it bud)

- Animations in general but anime most often, and manga even more (berserk, yea surprise surprise)

- Recently im in a very deep psychology research, but no official book or anything just actual genuine interest

- Are you still reading?

- Art in general

- I play Brawl Stars too (former main Draco, current main Damian)

Actually there's a lot more, it's impressive how hard it is to speak of your interests when they dont seem that so niche, but yea

I live in a different country and I have no family or friends here and my relation with my family is very bad so I don't have them to count on. I am dealing with very stressful situations at the moment, like threat, harassment, no job, health issues, expiring visa, no money for anything, etc. I used to have heart pain and panic attacks often as a kid but it's back now, just this time I have no one to reach out and I can't go to the hospital by myself without making it a lot worse, I'm horrible with doing stuff by myself and the person who brought me here was extremely abusive and got her friends to hate me when I decided to leave for my own safety, now they keep sending bad messages and making psychological harassment but if I block them then I literally have no contact at all in this country. 0 contacts indeed.

I'm starting to panic again and I don't know what to do, I know it's not death but it feels like it and it doesn't get better when I think about the fact I can't reach out to anyone and would probably just have to go to the street for air and beg people to talk to me, which would get me in trouble

I'm a guy btw, so if you are a creep who thought I was a girl just because I said the word abuse, and wanted to take advantage of the vulnerability, first off do better, secondly leave this place, you're not welcome here, go treat your mind