u/Hel0_Truin9

So I've had this standing desk sitting in my garage for like eight months. Perfectly fine, I just switched to a different setup and it's been taking up space. Posted it on Nextdoor, free, just come pick it up yourself, I'm home most evenings.

First guy who replied seemed normal. Asked if it still worked, I said yeah absolutely, motorized lift and everything. He said great, he'd come by Thursday. Thursday comes and goes, nothing. I message him, he says sorry something came up, can we do Saturday. Fine, whatever. Saturday he messages me around noon asking if I can have it disassembled before he arrives because he has a small car and doesn't want to deal with it.

I said I don't have the right tools to take the legs off cleanly and I'd rather not strip the bolts, but he's welcome to bring his own and do it here. He goes quiet for a bit, then says "that seems like a lot of work on my end for something that should already be ready for pickup." For a free desk he didn't pay for. That he's been flaking on. I just said sorry man, someone else already claimed it (they hadn't yet, but they did an hour later so technically it worked out fine). Whole thing just left me a little baffled honestly.

my sister Maya and I are pretty close, we talk most weeks and generally get along well. She's not a bad person. But she has this pattern where she treats "close to her" as meaning "available at all times for whatever she needs."

It started small. She'd call me from the ER waiting room when she had a bad anxiety attack two years ago, I drove over, sat with her for four hours, that was fine, I wanted to be there. But then it became a thing. Not just actual emergencies, she started calling me when her car broke down an hour away and she wanted me to come get her even though she could call a tow. When her landlord was being difficult and she wanted me to come over and "be there" while she called him. When she had a rough day at work and needed someone to come sit with her because she didn't want to be alone.

Each thing individually is not a big deal. But it's constant and it's always framed as urgent and I've started to notice that her definition of emergency has gotten pretty broad.

Last month she listed me as her emergency contact at a new job without asking me first. I found out because HR called me to verify. I called Maya and said I wasn't comfortable being her emergency contact without being asked, and that I needed her to give me some notice before putting my name on things like that. She got really upset and said I was "pulling away" and that she thought she could count on me.

I do want her to be able to count on me. For actual emergencies. I just don't want to be the person she calls everytime something is slightly uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable h ere?