Can an ex-BPD partner heal while being in a new relationship?
Hi,
I have been seeing someone for a few months that just got out of a 1.5 year relationship with an undiagnosed BPD partner.
We became friends while he was still with his ex and developed an attraction to each other.
We started seeing each other only a week after his breakup so he did not have time to process it. We were incredibly happy that this was finally happening. He even started projecting himself in the future with me.
When he started processing the trauma from his previous relationship, ours started to fizzle (he would cry numerous times a day while replaying all the bad moments). Everything seemed stressful, not being able to project himself in the future with me anymore, being scared to be in a relationship again.
He has been in therapy for at least 15 weeks now but he fears that he might never be able to love me or love again due to the attachment style that he developed in his previous relationship. The fact that I am emotionally regulated and safe also makes our relationship “boring” as he is not used to that.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I don’t want to give up but also want him to heal.
Thank you!