u/HeightSea4018

Hello Redditors. I will try to be short and concise, so I am not writing a novel and telling too much info, but background does help. I am a 25F living in Canada and I have been going through it.
Growing up, I had some close, personal friends and been in different friend groups. I have a lot of social anxiety, so I usually just drift in and out of friend groups. I never really felt like I fit in (as I think a lot of us do). During that time, one of my siblings, 21F, was very difficult. She has a lot of mental health issues that she doesn’t treat, she still throws temper tantrums because my whole family is scared to say no to her. A few phone calls about overdoses, which all turned out fine, and I mean a few calls to the police because she has become too violent. Very troubling. It doesn’t help that I am the one that she listens to or comes to me for things. I also have a mentally ill mother, more in the way of again, lots of phone calls for overdoses. Last year, my mom almost died, but thankfully she made it through. I learned that that sibling, all because she couldn’t take the care cause someone needed it for work, said my wonderfully mother, ‘I wish you died in the hospital’. That is it with me, I am done so I am trying to deal with that.
On the other hand, I have started a new job as a nurse, about over a year of work. I am a bedside nurse on a medical surgical ward. This place is a complete joke. There is no support, no movement on getting any other workers. It’s all ‘not within the budget’, but I guess it’s within the budget of our mental health. There have been a few meetings but nothing ever changes. We get families and patients, screaming, kicking, just acting clueless about things that I just can’t stand it anymore. They didn’t pay me correctly when I first started the job in winter of 2025, and it wasn’t until fall of 2025 they noticed and I have still been fighting to get backpay. I was home with my dying mom at that time so sorry I couldn’t tell you just yet.
When my mom finally got out of the hospital, I can back home and was really sick. I could only eat like a few cups of applesauce and I was nauseated 24/7. Called in sick to work a lot that I used up all my sick time. Turned out, I was pregnant. I couldn’t keep the baby, my partner is still in school and we didn’t have the finances or even the right mindsets of raising a kid, so we made the hard decision to terminate. I thought I was infertile, never had that happen.After that, my partner couldn’t find a job so I was left the sole breadwinner, which was fine at the time, but work was just too much.
I am physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted from everything. I had a breakdown at work at one point, to which I was sent on leave for almost 2 months. I could have continued, but I needed the money. I am burnout from work, from life, but I can’t stop. I have isolated myself from everyone and everything except my partner. I don’t have hobbies anymore, barely eat, when I am home, I really just smoke weed most of the day to calm myself and ‘relax’, but I haven’t felt relaxed in years. Since I am also so socially anxious, and sometimes, working as a nurse, still have those high school cliques, I barely speak to anyone.
I just really hope someone, out here, can help. I hope everything made some sense, and I would be happy to answer anything to get me some help. Thanks❤️