I'm just at the beginning of a separation from my wife of 17 years. Two years ago she cheated on me and I had been highly anxious about our relationship ever since. 3 months ago she left us (Me and 3 kids) to 'find herself' I found out she has had a boyfriend for at least 6 weeks and that's when I lost it. Up until then I was giving her full access to the kids and allowed daily visits even though this was having serious negative effects on my own mental health. Now I've cut off all impromptu visits and they have to be arranged. My two older ones have cell phones and can call her anytime as she can call them, I couldn't stop them I'm sure if I tried which I would never wish to do. And after all this I still love her and although she's put me through hell, I still feel so attached to her that if she wanted to try again I might try to see if we could after some intense therapy. I feel so ashamed that I'm not strong enough to let go. Lord knows I have the anger enough to move mountains with my glare alone, I should be able to quit her, but I just can't.
u/Hefty-Willingness-44
First off I know how cliché it is to drink after a separation. I was married 17 years and 3 months ago she left me. I just spent 3 days setting up her new apartment with the rest of the money of our joint account so she would have a desent place for our kids to visit; just to have her push me out the door so she could go hang with a girlfriend. Today was supposed to be for her to take the stuff she wanted from our house to set herself up in her new apartment. Instead she took me shopping for new things to furnish her new place and because I'm a sucker I offered to set it up. The kids were away to make it easier for her to collect her stuff at the house and she didn't do anything there instead she manipulated me to worry about her and the kids. Afterwards, when I was dismissed with barely a thanks, I came home to a now empty home and it was an opportunity that hasn't arrived in months, if not years. I HAD A DRINK. Terrible I know, and so I'm ranting and raving and carrying on like a lunatic. No kids tonight they are safe and now I'm on fucking reddit looking to rant. I'm so tired of being the safe guy that will always show up, it's ruined my life; but that's who I am.