CN claiming abuse whilst abusing me
More of a vent than anything but things have been escalating rapidly in my divorce from a CN. Tonight she was annoyed that I hadn’t tidied up the kids mess before she came home and then when I didn’t react to this, she escalated.
Bearing in mind I do at least 80% of the household chores and she frequently leaves the house with toys and mess everywhere for me to tidy up. She gets so angry when anything I left for her to do I’ve always done it to keep the peace.
Tonight though, when I was calming my young son down when he was having a tantrum she did several things to undermine me and interfere whilst I was dealing with a screaming child and arguments with one of the other children. My CN was trying to pick a fight in all this chaos.
When my son calmed down, I said to my CN that we needed to talk about her crossing the boundaries and undermining my parenting. She never lets me say a word if she wants to deal with the kids her way.
She refused, tried to change the subject a few times and then said that she wouldn’t talk to me away from the kids as she was afraid I’d physically assault her and accused me of raising my voice when I was talking normally. She said she felt safe when the kids were around as she knew I wouldn’t do anything.
To be clear, I wasn’t being aggressive or shouting or getting in her face, and I’ve never laid a finger on her or even threatened too.
She made these accusations in ear shot of our kids and pretended they wouldn’t be able to hear her as she was slightly round a corner.
I left the conversation at this point and stayed downstairs with the kids whilst she went upstairs. When I went upstairs later her door was hanging partially off its hinges.
A day earlier she had taken down some family photos and dumped them in my room and had clearly slammed my door hard as it was split up the side whilst I was out.
I’m a fairly big guy but still am worried she’s going to claim I’m the dangerous one when she’s been emotionally attacking me for years. I don’t think she’d be stupid enough to actually attack me but the breaking of two doors in two days is a worrying thing- especially with the threat of making me out to be the abuser in our upcoming divorce proceedings.
I just hope that being non-reactive is enough! We can’t live separately as she took our house off the market after we got an offer and I can’t afford to pay for two homes.