u/HeartbrokenGirl2016

Long post, please bear with. And various trigger warnings.

I'm really struggling with something that happened at the start of the year and I don't know if I should go to the police or not.

I was dating a guy for nearly 2 years. He was manipulative, abusive and coercive, and frequently threatened his own mental health when confronted with his actions, threatening to take his own life in hysterics. This happened 3-4 times throughout our relationship and I would call his mother each time, who would then blame me for upsetting him.

I found out he was also dating 4 other people, all keeping us in various different separate lives. I was his girlfriend but he led on the other girls saying he'd make them official too. None of us knew about each other.

Throughout the 2 years he repeatedly sexually assaulted me. He would touch me inappropriately in situations where I couldn't escape or say no, like while I was driving which put me and others at risk, in public places, and in front of my family when they weren't looking. He would throw me up against walls on nights out and grope me and try to force himself into me. He would take out his penis and push my hand onto it in public places. I told him to stop multiple times. He would laugh and continue. It made me cry and he never stopped. During sex he was very rough even when I asked him to stop, which resulted in him leaving bruises on my body on multiple occasions, and I have photo evidence dated from July 2024 all the way to Dec 2025. Eventually the unwanted touching became so constant and violating that I stopped having sex with him entirely because I no longer felt safe. He still forced himself on me when I said no, resulting in me getting pregnant (I have since had an abortion due to ectopic).

In March 2025, he told me he had chlamydia. He did not tell the other 4+ women he was sleeping with simultaneously. That same night I was hospitalized with a severe kidney infection, the first I'd ever had. I have suffered ongoing health problems since then including pelvic pain and chronic UTIs. I am immunocompromised which made this particularly dangerous. He was also sleeping with women, men and trans people, over 100 partners according to what I later learned, and never disclosed any of this to me or the other women. When I told the other women about the STD in January 2026, they had no idea. One said she needed to get tested and he lied to her face saying no you don't, I don't have anything, even though he'd had chlamydia 10 months earlier and an unnamed STD in September.

When I found out he was cheating in mid-January, he became aggressive. I called police two days before he disappeared because I didn't know what to do about his escalating behaviour. He attempted to jump out the house threatening suicide. Police were involved when he went missing. His mother met with me and pretended to support me, then the next day cornered me in a car park and screamed at me, blaming me for everything. She then deleted all her messages to me to remove evidence, but I have screenshots from before she deleted them. He disappeared completely after that, blocked me everywhere, no explanation, no closure. This was in mid-January 2026.

His mother told me she had referred him to a domestic violence therapist and that he needed serious therapy to deal with my actions. I now realise he was telling her all the things he did to me but making it out as if it was me doing them to him. She was complicit in isolating me because she knew about the other women and lied to me. After turning on me, she orchestrated a campaign to make me look like the liar to everyone.

After weeks of silence, I sent him a voice message in March saying I knew everything about his lies. He called me from a private number that night and when I realised it was him I told him to leave me alone and hung up. He has been blocked but he and his family still stalk me on fake accounts.

I recently contacted one of his ex-partners to understand if this was a pattern. She confirmed through a friend, as she was too scared to contact me directly, that she experienced a very similar situation with a lot of trauma, that he has an established pattern of psychological abuse, and that he is extremely unpredictable and dangerous. She said she is still truly scared of what he and his family are capable of doing, years after their relationship ended. I have also been contacted by various other women asking if I was assaulted by him like they have been. Multiple victims have come forward with similar stories in the months since this happening.

I am left stuck 5 months on, not able to continue with my life. I haven't slept properly in 5 months. Meanwhile he has managed to move on as if nothing happened. I know he is now doing this to other women and repeating the cycle. Some of the women he was seeing are still with him and fiercely defending him because he has framed me as a liar who made everything up to hurt him. He claims I was never his girlfriend. They won't listen to warnings. Some have children and I am worried about their safety as he also isn't safe around children. When we were together he would regularly seek out interactions with young children in public. He would always talk about how beautiful little kids were in a way that made me deeply uncomfortable. He would go out of his way to talk to children he didn't know. It never sat right with me and I was planning on leaving him anyway before everything exploded in January.

I have photographic evidence of bruises from sexual assault dated July 2024, hospital records from March 2025 from the kidney infection following STD exposure, medical records of ongoing health issues since then, screenshots of his threatening message from March 2026, screenshots of his mother's messages before she deleted them, a detailed timeline of events, confirmation from another victim about his pattern of abuse, and messages from multiple women reporting similar experiences.

Is it too late to report this to police? Will they take me seriously? Should I try therapy first or report first? How do I protect the current victims who won't listen to warnings? How do I move past this when he's faced no consequences?

This is seriously traumatic and I feel like I can't move properly past this. I need to know if I should go to the police or if there's any point after 5 months.

Long post, please bear with. And various trigger warnings.

I'm really struggling with something that happened at the start of the year and I don't know if I should go to the police or not.

I was dating a guy for nearly 2 years. He was manipulative, abusive and coercive, and frequently threatened his own mental health when confronted with his actions, threatening to take his own life in hysterics. This happened 3-4 times throughout our relationship and I would call his mother each time, who would then blame me for upsetting him.

I found out he was also dating 4 other people, all keeping us in various different separate lives. I was his girlfriend but he led on the other girls saying he'd make them official too. None of us knew about each other.

Throughout the 2 years he repeatedly sexually assaulted me. He would touch me inappropriately in situations where I couldn't escape or say no, like while I was driving which put me and others at risk, in public places, and in front of my family when they weren't looking. He would throw me up against walls on nights out and grope me and try to force himself into me. He would take out his penis and push my hand onto it in public places. I told him to stop multiple times. He would laugh and continue. It made me cry and he never stopped. During sex he was very rough even when I asked him to stop, which resulted in him leaving bruises on my body on multiple occasions, and I have photo evidence dated from July 2024 all the way to Dec 2025. Eventually the unwanted touching became so constant and violating that I stopped having sex with him entirely because I no longer felt safe. He still forced himself on me when I said no, resulting in me getting pregnant (I have since had an abortion due to ectopic).

In March 2025, he told me he had chlamydia. He did not tell the other 4+ women he was sleeping with simultaneously. That same night I was hospitalized with a severe kidney infection, the first I'd ever had. I have suffered ongoing health problems since then including pelvic pain and chronic UTIs. I am immunocompromised which made this particularly dangerous. He was also sleeping with women, men and trans people, over 100 partners according to what I later learned, and never disclosed any of this to me or the other women. When I told the other women about the STD in January 2026, they had no idea. One said she needed to get tested and he lied to her face saying no you don't, I don't have anything, even though he'd had chlamydia 10 months earlier and an unnamed STD in September.

When I found out he was cheating in mid-January, he became aggressive. I called police two days before he disappeared because I didn't know what to do about his escalating behaviour. He attempted to jump out the house threatening suicide. Police were involved when he went missing. His mother met with me and pretended to support me, then the next day cornered me in a car park and screamed at me, blaming me for everything. She then deleted all her messages to me to remove evidence, but I have screenshots from before she deleted them. He disappeared completely after that, blocked me everywhere, no explanation, no closure. This was in mid-January 2026.

His mother told me she had referred him to a domestic violence therapist and that he needed serious therapy to deal with my actions. I now realise he was telling her all the things he did to me but making it out as if it was me doing them to him. She was complicit in isolating me because she knew about the other women and lied to me. After turning on me, she orchestrated a campaign to make me look like the liar to everyone.

After weeks of silence, I sent him a voice message in March saying I knew everything about his lies. He called me from a private number that night and when I realised it was him I told him to leave me alone and hung up. He has been blocked but he and his family still stalk me on fake accounts.

I recently contacted one of his ex-partners to understand if this was a pattern. She confirmed through a friend, as she was too scared to contact me directly, that she experienced a very similar situation with a lot of trauma, that he has an established pattern of psychological abuse, and that he is extremely unpredictable and dangerous. She said she is still truly scared of what he and his family are capable of doing, years after their relationship ended. I have also been contacted by various other women asking if I was assaulted by him like they have been. Multiple victims have come forward with similar stories in the months since this happening.

I am left stuck 5 months on, not able to continue with my life. I haven't slept properly in 5 months. Meanwhile he has managed to move on as if nothing happened. I know he is now doing this to other women and repeating the cycle. Some of the women he was seeing are still with him and fiercely defending him because he has framed me as a liar who made everything up to hurt him. He claims I was never his girlfriend. They won't listen to warnings. Some have children and I am worried about their safety as he also isn't safe around children. When we were together he would regularly seek out interactions with young children in public. He would always talk about how beautiful little kids were in a way that made me deeply uncomfortable. He would go out of his way to talk to children he didn't know. It never sat right with me and I was planning on leaving him anyway before everything exploded in January.

I have photographic evidence of bruises from sexual assault dated July 2024, hospital records from March 2025 from the kidney infection following STD exposure, medical records of ongoing health issues since then, screenshots of his threatening message from March 2026, screenshots of his mother's messages before she deleted them, a detailed timeline of events, confirmation from another victim about his pattern of abuse, and messages from multiple women reporting similar experiences.

Is it too late to report this to police? Will they take me seriously? Should I try therapy first or report first? How do I protect the current victims who won't listen to warnings? How do I move past this when he's faced no consequences?

This is seriously traumatic and I feel like I can't move properly past this. I need to know if I should go to the police or if there's any point after 5 months.