Dying and seeing angel numbers
Well I guess I'm jump right in, I'm dying of multiple organ failure unfortunately and I used to be religious, not anymore, not really spiritual either... but I have been seeing angel numbers and other numbers(increasing or decreasing like 2:34 or 6:54/numbers like 5:05, 4:04, 3:03 or the time right on the hour like 3:00, 4:00, 5:00) on repeat everywhere. Some days I see none, but others I'll see every 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 and more.
Gosh I sound crazy but like, my pancreas is failing, and taking my kidneys with it, my liver and heart are also failing due to hep, it's a whole shit show. Anyway, my diet is super strict and I'll try a new food here and there, for example, popcorn, i tried the other day to see if I could eat it(after eating I can usually tell if I wanna keep eating that food or not, depending on how i feel, plus I do research on the vitamins & minerals of such foods)
Anyway, I'll sit down to eat after cooking and grab my phone, 4:44 will be the time, so I'm like.. okay, now I'm uneasy, eat the popcorn and ofc I feel like crap after, so I get to thinking, maybe the universe was telling me I was making a wrong choice there. Okay I sound crazy, I know lol but that's not the first time it's happened either. It's happened with other foods and actions. It's like the universe is sending me signs, and I don't know why.
It brings me comfort but also confuses me and keeps me on edge at times. Like I'm suppose to die at this age, 26? Or maybe it's comforting me that there's more after this and it's okay to let go? But if they are signs to help me avoid bad situations(like bad foods that could impact my health) then why is it helping me?
I'm so curious and excited for what's next bc I'm sure there's something now but also I don't want to stop living. Anyway, does anyone agree with my crazy thought that the universe is sending me signs to help me? And if it is, why? Also thank you for reading all that lol