so I am a 22 year old gay guy living in Iraq.
I deeply think about my future and get immediately frustrated with it.
I study a skilled profession that's technically in demand but even if I want to emigrate, I'll have to spend dozens of thousands of dollars with immense studies only to be not accepted as a possibility
most countries are tightening migration rules anyways
sometimes I think even if I made it out of here, It would be impossible to cut contact with my family.
while I left religion they are still very close to me
Yes, they are Muslim, conservative and would kill me if they knew but... I can't imagine to live a life so void without family without all of my friends that I ever known here to destroy all of that just to be free in a foreign country where I might end up broke or homeless too or dead
also the thought of being actually "free" would my friends and family see my socials after I leave? would my friends point and laugh at pictures of me and my spouse?
I don't know but it seems highly probable.
I think hatred is so infested in my mind that it makes it impossible for me to imagine anywhere else in the world where I will be happy
and yeah between imagining a dream life and searching for hours on migration pathways to jerking off for the 10th time to imaging fairytales with every cute classmate I lay eyes upon to crying myself to sleep , I do feel very lonely and guilty
but I can only dream maybe I can live in Sao Paolo and have a passionate latino boyfriend and have a blast at the beach every weekend while dancing to death in a crowded gay club blasting the loudest pop
maybe
ps sending love to all those who relate in anyway to my predicament (i don't even know what this word means) hope we will be free from our suffering one day