confused after kissing guy
i’m a female and i’ve been hanging out with this guy, and i think we’re both pretty inexperienced, but a couple of nights ago we had what i think is both of our first kiss. it was very eager and messy, and i would not say it felt good or pleasurable at all. we were already both nervous but at that point i got pretty turned off and stressed that it didn’t go how i envisioned it. it progressed so that he tried fingering me, but i was not into it at that point so we stopped and just held each other for a bit. it’s been giving me a bit of a crisis though. the fact that i didn’t enjoy it makes me worried that im actually not attracted to him, or even that this says something bigger about my sexuality. i’ve been overthinking it a lot, and a lot of my friends are telling me that their first kisses with their boyfriends started out bad. we are both really awkward people, but does anyone have any advice or experience with this? i know that first times are often a mess, but i thought i would at least feel good.