Sorry for this being such a long post. I just want to say a few things before I get into the story. 1. I am not a confrontational person and hate having to confront people. Obviously I know that it's sometimes necessary in order to get people to listen, but it's not generally my first way to approach a situation. 2. Housing rates being what they are, and the fact we had nowhere else to turn, we've been living with my in laws for the past year, which has brought some tension and resentment on my MIL's side. 3. I've been dealing with her and her shenanigans for about 5 years now. 4. Both she and my FIL believe that I hate them even though I haven't given any evidence to suggest that in the slightest. I've tried my best to be respectful and polite to them. They claim that I have never shown an ounce of gratitude towards them (which, of course, is inherently false, since I've gone out of my way to do nice things for them). 5. I have a certain mental condition which makes it hard for me to be "normal" in their eyes. I'm trying to learn more about it, but I don't think its something my in laws will ever understand sadly. Right. With that out of the way, here's the rather long story:
My mother on law loves to share her personal life on Facebook. That includes anything to do with her kids, her husband, her house, and her pets. My husband and I are not fans of sharing anything when it comes to our personal life. So, when I was pregnant with my baby, I knew when they were born, my MIL would be all over them and posting them to her facebook page everyday. So my husband and I set clear boundaries with her in regards to this. We told her no posting the baby or anything about them at all. She grumbled about it, but agreed. Well, fast forward to when I give birth and her visit in the hospital room. She asks if I can take a picture of her holding the baby. I obliged and she then asked if she could share the picture with her friends. I told her that was fine as long as it was over text and not social media. She said of course and that she understood. A week goes by and I get this weird feeling that something’s not right. So I look at her facebook page and I find that she posted the photo I took of her and my baby on it! This obviously upsets me and I tell my husband. He looks at the photo and goes to talk to his mother about it. She gets upset and gives him a weak excuse about how "you can't see the baby's face" and says something along the lines of how "she just wanted to share her happiness with her online friends." He's not happy about it, but tells me we should just let it slide since you can't see the baby's face. I'm definitely not happy about it, but I say ok and warn her if she does it again, she won't get to hangout with the baby.
Well several month's go by, and she still hasn't stopped posting my baby on her account. I, of course, get upset every time she does it and keep warning her to stop doing it. But she keeps posting. Even though each time I catch her, she promises to stop. So my baby just turned a year recently, and in honor of them turning a year my MIL thought it would be a brilliant idea to post my baby's FULL NAME on her facebook page. At this point, she had friended me on facebook, so I could see what she was posting fully. I got very upset about this and told my husband. He got angry and talked to his mom. She got mad back at him and told him its not a big deal. When my husband came back to tell me what happened, I told him that we would give her one more chance to actually stop repeatedly crossing this boundry we had so clearly set from the get go.
Fast forward to a few nights ago, and I'm sitting at the dinner table with my in laws. Like I've said earlier, I am in no way a confrontational person. I try to solve things with as little drama as possible. So while we are eating dinner, I try to play into the approach of how dangerous posting anything online is these days, what with ai and hackers using it to get to children. I said it makes me very uncomfortable and I don't like the idea of anything about them being posted on social media. My FIL agrees with me, but my MIL is silent. I finish up dinner thinking that I made a good point and that she understands where I'm coming from.
The next morning I wake up and check my facebook page to see if she posted anything (cause that's normally her schedule, its like clock work when it comes to posting for her). Only... I can't find her... She's no longer in my friends list. I ask my husband to check his and he says he can't find her either. I'm a little suspicious about this, but my husband tries to reassure me saying that she probably just deleted her account. I agree that's probably what it is, but something doesn't sit right with me. So, I open a throwaway account and look her up in the search bar. Low and behold, I find her account right there... with all 1.9k "friends". Of course I become angry cause now I know she blocked us from seeing what she posts. I show my husband and he gets mad and goes to confront her about it. She gets defensive and says the reason she blocked us is because she didn't want us "telling her what she can and cannot post on her page." She finally promises my husband (again) that she won't post our baby anymore. He informs me about what went on, but of course talk is cheap and I don't trust her now.
A couple days go by, and she hasn't unblocked me, so I don't know if she's still posting my baby or not. Last night, I decide to play the "I don't know what's going on" card and ask my FIL if he knew if his wife deleted her account since I couldn't find her anymore. He deflects saying that "he doesn't pay attention to her account". So I wait to ask my MIL what happened to her account. She immediately starts getting defensive and saying that she doesn't want to talk about it. So I just say, "ok. I was just curious. That's all." Which I guess she thought in her head that I was attacking her. Cause she yells out, "I BLOCKED YOU cause I don't want you involved in my personal life! Do I make myself clear?! Which I responded with, "of course. CRYSTAL clear." Then she doesn't stop there. She starts coming at me being confrontational. I tell her to stop several times because I really didn't want to get into it. But she thinks I'm trying to be "disrespectful" to her and starts to pull out the mom card of "you should be scared of me because I am older and have more experience than you." Of course, given my childhood, I'm not scared of an older woman getting in my face. We get into a heated argument where it almost looked like she considered smacking me a couple of times but didn't (although I was ready for it). It ends with her telling me that she doesn't like me and that I'm an a**hole. Of course I already knew she didn't like me, but that's besides the point.
Now I'm at the point where my trust with her has been completely broken and I don't want her anywhere near my baby. My husband was there and witnessed the entire thing. He told both his parents (since my FIL butted his way into the argument to defend his wife🙄) that if we all can't get along, then he'll have to cut them from our lives. Of course neither of them want that, but they also fully believe they're in the right, and that I'm a terrible human being who doesn't care about anyone but myself. I'm just so done with everything and really couldn't care less if we had to go no contact. I understand my husband's outlook on everything, cause he wants our child to grow up with at least one set of grandparents since those were some of his best memories as a kid. We've also been looking for a place to live for a while now since it really isn't healthy for all of us to be under the same roof. I also don't really know what I expect to get from posting this. I'm just hurt and needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for taking the time to read this