So this isnt the usual romantic partner break up kind of thing but it still hurts like hell. So I dont know why i really did it but I started not texting back my friend from high school while im in uni. Im a really bad texter in general but this time I just escalated the situation to another high. I think i just wanted space and not that heavy weight of i have to text back, and ive been having a lot of internal conflict lately so i just wanted to deal with that on my own for a bit ... but i didnt communicate that with my friend. Anyways so for like a week she had been calling me on all socials texting me asking me if im okay since i hadnt been replying and i had even posted something on my story that i was tagged in.
So i dont really know why but i blocked her. I think it was just cause i wanted to stop getting messages from her until i was ready to reach out first and go back to normal. I wasnt really taking a second to stop and think about how that would look and feel on her end and i eventually ended up texting back today when she reached me through email asking what she did wrong and i found out from a friend she had been stressing for days and looking at old pictures of us crying
So i unblocked her and reached and out briefly explained what happened as an apology but she just told me that after finding out she actually did nothing wrong and that she had stressed for days for nothing that she doesnt want a friend who cant take two seconds to say they need space nstead of blocking them when they asked them theyre ok and saw them posting on social media. I guess i just had thought everything would be ok again like it usually is after i was ok. Which is obviously valid as hell but now i dont know what to do. I think i might have even just had a panic attack cause this was the one person who meant everything to me. Like we'd even joke around and say God didnt make us siblings for a reason cause were so close and alike and shared everything. I truly felt like she was my other half and now i feel like my whole world has been flipped upside down and i seriously seriously dont know how im even supposed to move forward in life without her. Ive know her since i was 7.
Dont know if i want advice on how to move on, reach out again or simply being a better friend but ig ill take anything