I [24F] left my partner [25M]after almost 4 years together. To start off I’d like to say we had the most healthy relationship in the world, he was kind to me, understanding, gentle everything I could’ve asked for in a partner and more.. genuinely. When we first started dating in college he’d pay for most things. But as he got into law school and I started working I paid for 95% of things. He is very well off..private school his whole life, parents paid for college and everything else and they have tons of nice cars and take tons of vacations per year. His parents would give him money to take me out on dates bc they felt bad I paid for everything.
Just this last week we were laying down on the couch and he gets an email from only fans. He said “omg that’s so embarrassing that’s from so long ago” and tried to act like it was nothing but I had felt like he put my stomach in a blender and turned it on.
Long story short after him denying it for a while I finally got him to log into only fans where I seen him subscribed to different girls, messaging different girls, paying for naked pictures etc. he had over 40 messages and 9 priority woman that look NOTHING like me( I’m 5’4 110 pounds pretty petite) and all the girls were super thick Double D women. In our relationship he knew my body image was something I struggled with and said it hurt him when I talked down about my body so this hurt extra. from what I know this has happened our whole relationship.
So I broke up with him then and there and haven’t talked to him since.
-My issues are I’ve always told him he could watch porn I’ve never had an issue with it, ever.
-He talks about only fans model like they’re satan themselves -we’ve had conversations if our kids ended up in that lifestyle and he said they would be dead to him.
-financially- paying for naked women online while I work 60 hour week to afford our relationship
-the way he could look at me in my face and lie the way he did
- we had such a heathy sex life- anytime he wanted it besides if I wasn’t on my period so to pay for naked women online has ruined the way I look at myself everything I thought I knew about myself is gone
I was very secure in my decision but a lot of people are telling me it isn’t cheating and he was good to me. That I should go back and I feel crazy bc I’m already hurt I had to leave what I thought was my person. So to hear certain people say it sounds like a misunderstanding hurts. I feel crazy is only fans normal ?