For context, I am a very low maintenance individual and sentimental individual. Some of my favorite gifts I’ve ever received have been handmade or from five below. I look forward to reading cards more than the actual gift. I also am an avid thrifter; almost my entire wardrobe is thrifted. I have what you would call a “whimsical” fashion taste and you will very rarely catch me in anything but a skirt or dress. Off topic but important: my parents are also in the process of a divorce so they have moved to separate houses.
I am a dancer and had a dance competition the day before my birthday. I am also a senior and it would be one of the last times I performed. My dad told me that he would have to skip the dance competition to go pick up my birthday present. It made me a little upset but not to a point worth crying about.
I spent the night at my mom’s house the night before my birthday and I woke up to cat-shaped banners strung from the walls and a very epic “Happy Birthday” performance from my mom and brother. I opened the gift from my mom and she had gotten me bread-shaped beauty blenders, cat socks, an air-freshener for my car with a silly little guy on it, and a Masterpiece Mini-Brands (which I am OBSESSED with). I called my dad who was out with my grandma at a decently expensive breakfast restaurant. I gave him my birthday haul and when I was finished, he asked me if that was it. I said yeah and he paused for a second before responding with “oh”. I said my goodbyes after that and we ended the call. But, whatever his reaction was didn’t matter. I was so grateful for everything I got and I gave my mom a big hug, but then she started to cry. She told me that she was sorry she couldn’t get me more. I told her that just having her support and love was enough for me, and that I loved all of the gifts she got me because they really showed me that I am so well-known by her and that she loves me enough to get things that are truly me. She told me that my dad owed her over $1000 and that she wished things could’ve been different. I gave her a huge hug and let her know how much I loved her.
In the afternoon, she took me to buy my first lottery ticket and talked me through all of the options and how to pick numbers. We both laughed at how hard it was for me to make a decision so she told me what ones she normally did. It was so simple but I was so grateful to share that little milestone with her.
After that, I was out at dinner with some of my theatre friends after they had a show, when one of my friends handed me a rainbow gift bag addressed to me and the cast. I immediately knew it was from my mom because I had seen the bag at her house before. I opened it to find 3 boxes of mini cupcakes to share. After we were done with dinner, I saw that my car had balloons tied to it and “Happy Birthday” written on the back window with chalk paint. There was a sash that said “Birthday Queen” across the drivers seat, and in the passenger seat was a card with my name on it. Both sides of the card were full of very meaningful writing that had me tearing up in the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot. I called her and told her how much I appreciated her and how much I love the little things she does for me.
I drove to my dad’s house after dinner and there was a large gift bag on the table. When I sat down to open it, I first tried to look for a card, but there was none. Instead, I pulled out a Lululemon bag. Inside was a fitted athletic sweatshirt and a pair of leggings (two things that I rarely ever wear). Although he tried scratching out the prices with pen, I still was able to make out the prices that, together, added to over $250. Of course I was grateful that I even got anything, but it felt very impersonal to me. I just thought that after 18 years of growing up with my dad, he would know that I’m not the kind of person who wears athletic clothes. I think he could tell I was a little upset but he didn’t say anything about it at first.
I went upstairs and called my mom to give her a haul like I did my dad. When I started to tell her i started to cry. I told her how I felt about being not truly known until I heard my dad’s footsteps come up the stairs. I quietly let her know he was close and waited until I thought he was farther away to continue talking. We kept talking and I couldn’t help but feel like an absolute jerk for complaining. I’ve never complained about a gift in my life and I felt like such a spoiled brat. But it wasn’t the gift itself, it was the lack of any sort of sentiment and the fact that he had missed my performance to get it so last minute. That’s when I heard his footsteps again and paused again. My mom told me how much she loved me before she let me go. about a minute later my dad came into my room and asked if I wanted him to return the gifts. I tried to be polite by saying no, but he told me that “he heard it was an issue”. I told him that it wasn’t and he left. I texted my mom and asked if she had told him but she said that she hadn’t, and that they weren’t even on speaking terms. So I was able to piece together that he was listening through my door. I wasn’t shocked, as it isn’t the first time it’s happened while I’ve been on the phone with my mom, but I was still upset.
So when I finally went downstairs to eat my cake with no candles, it was pretty much silent. I feel like an absolute first-world brat for even feeling like this but is it wrong of me to still feel like I have a right to be a little disappointed?