In january, I cancelled an outing 3 days in advance because I was going to Geneva with my best friend (we’re both 19) during a group call, because I knew my friend is sensitive to cancelled plans as we are both autistic I do my best to accommodate her.
I argued with a friend and felt she was guilt tripping me because I have never had a job because my parents fund my life and she’s an orphan (23 years old), and has lost her father at the age of 14. I feel that it bears little to no importance in the conflict we were having and that it’s unfair to tell someone that because their parents have money they’re insensitive to their friends’ lives (me) + that I was going to end up being isolated from everyone since I didn’t care about anyone around me.
I apologized several times and explained why I cancelled the outing (which was a 1h30 commute away from my home) as I’d be coming back home late (at around 10 in the evening) from Switzerland and I’d be too tired to attend it since I’d have to wake up early (indeed, I woke up at 11 that day so I would have been late if I kept the plans, and that makes my friend very upset as well). I never cancel plans and do my best to maintain them, but at that moment I just felt really terrible because I was being blamed for not being present enough in my friend’s grief (her father’s 9th death anniversary was coming up) even though I did my best to send encouraging messages.
The trip cost me a lot of money (70% of my monthly allowance) and I couldn’t cancel it as I had already paid a month prior and was broke for weeks afterwards (since my parents don’t give me more than my monthly allowance) but I had learnt my uncle had cancer and had lots of exams in college + some personal health issues that made me feel down. I was exhausted overall, money’s the only reason why I didn’t cancel the trip because that’d be wasteful but I didn’t want to go and my best friend didn’t either.
My friend also told me that it was odd I chose to cancel our outing (which was a free conference on a sunday at 2 in the afternoon) and not my trip to Geneva with my best friend and that I was neglecting some of my friendships which is untrue. During the month of january, I had seen a friend once and that’s only because it was her birthday. I had had a terrible argument with my father hours before the party but I still attended it because I NEVER miss a birthday ever, it’s once in the year. I do the most to be considerate towards my friends, but I felt judged very harshly over something communication could resolve easily.
So, am I the problem here and why? Thanks for reading!