Do you know what it’s like to sit with you everyday knowing you don’t love me anymore?
It’s soul destroying, I know you don’t love me anymore. I can see it in your eyes, your actions and I can hear it in the things you say.
You know I love you with my whole heart, you’re only with me still because you know I’m a good choice, I don’t want to be a choice though… I want to be your person, the one you want to adore, the one you want to spend your time with, the one you come to when you need anything.
In many ways you’ve helped me, you’ve taught me to be confident, you’ve taught me how to face anxiety’s, you’ve taught me to be myself. Once you decide to tell me, I know that I will go back to my old self because I can’t be the person I am today without you by my side.
Would it hurt you if we left each other? It would hurt me, I’m never going to be strong enough to leave you, and I’m not strong enough to deal with it if you leave me.
This will be the ruins of me… I’ve never loved another the way I love you.
I just want you to be happy, even if you’re thinking you’ll never find someone who loves you the way I do… I deserve that love back. I will always hold a special place for you, you will always be the person I wanted a life with.
Although, I deserve someone who looks at me and adores me, adores my personality and someone who wants to spend their time with me.
I never wanted to get to this point, we have been through a lot together… mainly stuff I’ve done to save what we have left, but that can only go so far.
I believe I have heavily done my part and that I have shown you more than enough the love that I have for you, by things you’ve seen, and things you’ve not seen but I tell you about.
You will always be someone I thought I had a future with, because you’ve shown me a lot of things that not a lot of people have.
You have been patient with me, you’ve been kind and opening… but I can feel it, and I know the love you have for me is no longer there.
You need to admit it as I’m not strong enough, but when you do… just know at the end of all of it I won’t get mad, I won’t cause a scene, I will leave… and deal with the rest on my own. The only thing I will wish is that you are happy, and that you are safe.
You are one person I’ve invited into my life knowing I would be scared to loose. You are my whole world my love. I just hope soon that you realise it.
All my love,
Your darling.