u/Head-Mirror-8294 — reddlx

OK, so TLDR I have unexpectedly come to like this guy, we’ve been on a couple of dates and recently spent the night together, hung out briefly afterwards, but since then he hasn’t really texted me. Other than a dead end text conversation, I haven’t heard anything from him and it’s been like three days. Am I insane to think he should’ve texted me by now? I feel like as the girl I have shown interest so it’s now his turn as the man to pursue me. Like I don’t wanna have to be the one to text him first he should want to text me.

Some context— I (21F) have sort of been talking to this guy 22M on and off for a couple months. We met this past winter in passing at a DJ set, where our exchange consisted of us playing eye tag for the entire night, and us eventually coming together and exchanging a kiss or two. The vibes were immaculate, he was tall and handsome, I was newly single and not complaining. We got each other’s information and I found out that we went to the same college.

the night was coming to an end and I was about to leave, it was a little bit blurry but from what I remember he started going on along the lines of “ you’re gonna have to text me, I don’t chase women”. ????? like ok? Off the bat, I don’t like that (I’m raised Eastern European in my culture a man is worthy of a woman, not the other way around, a man should pursue his woman) And I’m sorry if that’s sexist and not very “2026” of me— but God forbid a girl wants to be wanted lol. anyway, I immediately didn’t like that and I think you left the bar with me telling him I wouldn’t speak to him again.

like I said, the night was kind of hazy so next thing I remember I was outside of the bar and he was there, i kissed him, and long story short we spent the rest of the evening together just hanging out and being all cute. from there, he proceeded to ask me out on a day over text in a very backhanded way. He asked me what I was doing that evening and I said that I was probably going to study. he said something along the lines of “was going to? why, did you think i was going to ask you out tonight or something?”. IMMEDIATELY NO. no. I left that on read and didn’t think anything of it again.

fast forward to last weekend when I was out out a bar with my friend he had swiped up on my Instagram story and asked where I was. I replied the bar that I was at, and next thing I knew he was there, alone. I was a little bit surprised but not necessarily complaining and we spent the rest of the night like we did before, kissy, huggy, blah, blah, blah. But this time he asked me out to dinner the next night. I agreed and we ended up going to dinner and having a surprisingly great time. He’s kind of quite a man a few words, and is mostly just interested in the sport that he plays. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing I can tell that he’s very analytical about it and it’s kind of the way that I am interested in science. It’s a niche and I will not yuck someone’s yum. Anyway, we had chemistry and the next day we made plans to study.. I went over to this apartment and immediately— MAKEOUT.

We made out on his couch for a few hours, which led into going out to dinner, which led to me coming back to his apartment, and spending the night. The thing is, I’ve never had chemistry like this with anyone before. And I may just be saying this because I’m young and I have only been single for like a year, but it literally feels like we’re magnets. And I thought he felt the same way. I woke up that morning and we made plans to meet up later and do an activity that he really likes. We spent a few hours together, and I went home after which I’ve tried to text him, but the conversations were just dead ends. And since then he’s barely texted me. Like I said, his response is to my messages didn’t have any sort of follow up or interest so I had left him on read for a day. Yesterday, out of desperation, I liked his message that I had originally left on read to see if that would prompt him to say anything. That didn’t work. It’s now been four days since we hung out and he hasn’t talked to me in two days. although he has viewed my story.

I think I just have too much time on my hands to read into this, but I really like him and want to see him again. However, I do not want to be the one to initiate any anymore. I initiated a text conversation with him first the other day I feel like the ball is in his court. I’ve clearly shouldn’t interest. It is now his turn to pursue. what should I do and what do you guys think he is thinking? help lol