I (33M) might have a light porn addiction. These are the first steps on my journey.
I'm trying to get things off my chest and organize my thoughts, so I'm sorry if this feels a bit jumbled.
My understanding that it's an addiction when you are unable to refrain from something. So I don't know if I have a porn addiction. Because I've never actually tried to refrain from it.
But I do probably consume more porn than what is healthy. It's partially videos and images, but also written erotic stories. I think normally it's like every second day I'll consume some version of pornography, sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for several hours (I get really into the written stories). There's no consistent trigger for it. Sometimes it's boredom. Sometimes it's curiosity: I've heard about something pornographic that sounds exciting. Sometimes it's a sudden urge.
This has been going on since my early teens and I suspect it has had some consequences. To begin with, it's hard for me to finish during sex. In fact, I have never climaxed during sex. I believe I have become desensitized. Another consequence is that it's just hard for me to be interested in sex in general. I feel like maybe I'm asexual sometimes. I just don't really want sex all that much.
The thing is, most of my life I never really thought watching porn would be a problem. It was just entertainment. But lately I've come to reflect on how maybe it's caused some of my issues in life. So I'm trying to deal with it now.
I stopped watching porn a week ago. It hasn't been too hard to abstain, but I have felt a bit of temptation. Hoping this will change something for me.