u/Hazel_Eye_8680

I’ve read that Able Now Accounts are now available to a greater number of people in my state (WA). I believe I would be eligible under the new expansion, so I’ve considered opening an account to be able to save over the $2k asset limit for Medicaid.

I decided to call and ask someone on the phone about this. I called the number on the back of my Medicaid card. The woman I spoke to said that I was actually a bit misinformed and there was no asset limit for the kind of Medicaid I’m receiving, which is through WA Healthcare Authority - they only look at my income, not my assets. She said I was thinking of “classic Medicaid,” which does have asset limits.

Is this correct? It seemed a bit odd to me, but she seemed very confident and I tend to want to believe her due to her being an official source.

Recently I was asked to be a bridesmaid for an important wedding in my family. In the moment it felt very natural and easy to say yes because I love both the bride and groom very much and am excited to support and celebrate their marriage however possible.

I’ve never been in a bridal party before. I hadn’t thought through that I would be asked to buy a matching dress with the rest of the bridal party. I have a few concerns -

- The bride picked a company for bridesmaid dresses which exclusively sells polyester dresses. I do not buy or wear polyester, for environmental and personal reasons. I only wear cotton and linen, and I’m increasingly moving towards just linen.

- I almost always buy solely thrifted clothes, again for environmental and personal reasons.

- For personal reasons, I dress modestly. To me, this means only loose fitting, solid colored clothing, with no patterns or artistic designs. I try to dress a bit like a monk - an unassuming outfit that looks nearly identical from day to day, that takes little to no effort to put together each morning because it’s not a priority beyond functionality. If the outfit I’m wearing looks especially bland and draws no attention, I know I’m aligned with my clothing goals. If someone compliments me on something I’m wearing because it stands out as especially appealing in some way, I usually choose to give it away, either to them, or to anyone else who wants it. None of the dresses from the company the bride picked would fit my definition of modesty, for a few reasons, for example they all emphasize the chest region. Also for similar reasons described in this point, I don’t use any makeup or use hair products like hairspray, gels, etc…

- I know for certain that I will not use this dress in the future, due to the points above, due to the fact that I intentionally keep a very minimal wardrobe (maybe 10-15 items total), and due to the fact that I generally do not attend any events that require formal attire. I generally feel strongly opposed to buying something, especially something new, for just one occasion.

Because I initially enthusiastically accepted the bride’s invitation to be in the bridal party without any reservation and I did not want to add any tension or stress to our newly forming dynamic (she’s my brother’s fiancé, they’ve been together for many years but have lived far from me so I haven’t spent much time with her), I decided to simply buy the polyester dress and put aside my feelings about modesty for one day.

However, it feels wrong in many ways, conflicting with my beliefs, and I want to be better prepared for next time. I have 2 more siblings and several close friends who will likely be getting married in the next few years and I think it likely I could be asked to be in a bridal party again.

How would you make it work, to be a more conscientious bridesmaid?

Ideally I would love to be a bridesmaid for my loved ones, but I would want to be able to wear the clothes I already own, or if needed, buy a new modest linen dress that I know I would wear as part of my daily rotation. It would look far more casual than is usually expected for weddings, especially for the bridal party, so unfortunately I feel that simply declining with a respectful explanation would be the best move…

Would you be deeply offended or hurt if a loved one declined your invitation to be a bridesmaid in this way?