TL;DR Should I go back to the job or walk away?
TL;DR
4 weeks ago I was given the opportunity and the privilege to work with amazing group of men as a salesman traveling all over the US making $100 a day knowing that in my local town I don't make that kind of money and without a degree or certificate it's very hard to get by.
I started us a helper they're training me to be a salesman potentially making thousand dollars close to that a day I think but the point is the moment I started doing the job the owner and manager asked me right away are you sure is this something where you wanted to do for the rest of your life I nodded in my head but deep down I was screaming no never I don't have money money does not drive me money does not motivate me in spite of all the things you can do with it deep down I don't care that's not what makes me happy I want fulfillment I even used to feel that that's wrong trying to find fulfillment from a job is asking too much and maybe too much out of life you're expecting too much is what I thought but I don't think so anymore. I want something more even if it doesn't pay much or if I don't get to travel all over the us but if I find fulfillment in my job if I'm happy simply happy to the point that I would almost do it for free then that's what I want to do I don't know.
My boss called me and ask me if I'm ready to go back when I spoke to him he said you don't sound eager I responded that I am and do miss work but the truth is I want the money that's the only reason I would do the job because I don't have any other prospects and I don't have any other jobs that I can get also because I've had a lot of trouble in the past just to find a job so this job is a blessing but in spite of all that in spite of all the pros I more than 100% do not love this job and I could never see myself doing this for the rest of my life even if it provided financial Freedom I don't care it's not what I want out of life because I would end up hating it. I don't know what I want to do in life but I know that this is not something I plan to do long term but I simply don't know what to do