Divorce was finalized about 6 weeks ago. Going through a roller coaster of emotions. I mostly just want to get this all out there and see if people in similar circumstances have gone through similar feelings.
M28, married my now-ex-wife, 32, and spent 10 years together, no kids. It was rocky from the beginning, as she had a lot of untreated mental illness, but I kept hoping that she would eventually start to get better. She was in and out of therapy, on and off medication, but nothing ever really changed. Emotional and physical abuse started, continued, and eventually started to increase. I gave her warnings that I was considering a divorce, but things continued to get worse. That's when I left.
I'm not trying to drag her through the mud. A huge part of what I'm struggling with is that she was kind to me at times, and we had gone through so much together that I didn't want to throw it all away. But I was breaking and couldn't take it anymore.
Now we've gone our separate ways; I moved back with my parents temporarily, and she left the state. But I'm worried about her ability to "make it" so to speak. I have a supportive family, a stable job, and I'm getting my Master's. I'm finally able to do all the things I love that I couldn't when I was with her. She could barely hold down a job or stick with something to see it through. But I feel guilty that I'm doing well, because although I felt like I had to do this for my own mental wellbeing, I'm wrestling with the feeling that I've just dumped her in the deep end to sink or swim on her own. My life is unquestionably more stable and fulfilling without her, but I'm fighting to fully convince myself that I did the right thing because of how it affected her.
This is in no way meant to be a brag on myself or disparaging her. I'm just wondering if others who have divorced because of mental illness wrestle with the same kind of guilt? Or those that are doing well after the divorce? And maybe I'm just venting.