I shouldn’t miss her but I do
My first girlfriend was a not very nice person, she bullied random kids, she raped me, cheated on me, threw me against the wall so hard I couldn’t breathe, pinned me down and forced me to drink alcohol until I passed out. I have a thing were I pass out at times and she left me alone outside and took my phone when I was unconscious.
But sometimes I regret breaking up with her, like I feel like she’s what I deserve, I know I don’t but for some reason people like her always find me.
I keep getting tricked ig, they make me think I’m special, like they care about me but then they hit me or take advantage of me and I loose hope again.
I keep wondering if maybe it’s because I deserve it Yk?
Maybe that’s why
Every healthy relationship I get into I ruin because I think it’s boring or I feel like they don’t really like me because they’re not possessive and controlling.