I’ll list things in bullet points because it helps me stay organized.
- I have been trying to get diagnosed with ADHD for a long time. I was always with Kaiser insurance and my therapist said ADHD was over-diagnosed and I likely “only” have anxiety or depression. This was despite having severe issues with burnout, procrastination, and executive functioning. I tried to manage everything with only talk therapy but I’d always have these “crash out” moments where I just give up on everything and need to hide in my room and avoid everything and everyone for weeks. It is extremely disruptive to my life.
I later found out Kaiser mental health services are terrible and they have diagnosing quotas. I recently changed insurances but don’t even know where to start with getting diagnosed or medicated.
I have always been “gifted” growing up. Somewhere in late highschool/college I started getting overwhelmed by school. I would tell myself I’m just dumb and letting everyone down. I have a knack for memorization and STEM but I get overwhelmed by testing. My issue now is I can easily follow subject and projects at work but I get SO overwhelmed when it is time to start and execute. I feel constantly useless and dumb at work.
I had a major burn out and marked my calendar OOO for over a week at work and just ignored all my messages. I’m scared to start back at work and feeling anxious. I got a call from my Hr person today (let it go to voicemail) and I don’t even know how to tackle this when I can barely get out of bed.
I get so exhausted by masking I feel like I can’t function. I have a habit/stim of repeating things out loud. I used to be better at hiding it but now it’s slipping out more and more. I feel like I’m about to get “exposed” for being different. I don’t know how to mask it more efficiently and it’s adding to my stress/burnout at work
I need help but I don’t know where to even start with getting diagnosed or getting into a therapy program. I’m also anxious that I’m on the verge of being let go at work even though I could have just communicated better. How do I get through this? How should I tackle this?