Sex doesnt feel appealing to me at all compared to masturbation
Hello just coming to reddit to ask these bc i genuinely have nowhere else to go ask this.
I (20F) had my first sexual relation when i was around 18 yo with my ex boyfriend, i kinda just jerked him off and he tried fingering me, in with obviously went pretty bad since we were both very much new to this kind of thing, still at the same time i felt pretty grossed out by his dick but kinda put it to the side cuz i tought it was normal. The relationship ended up shortly so i started hanging around and had relations with another two people, a random guy i met on an app that kinda lead to the same dryhump and mutual masturbation and a trans girl who was the one i actually lost my virginity with. She ate me out and we fucked, but even when we were in the middle of it i saw my reflection at her closed window and asked myself why i couldn't feel good at all, why none of the relations i had felt good at all even tough the last two obviously were experienced and actually TRIED to give me pleasure.
I masturbate pretty often, with and without toys, sometimes just rubbing myself at stuff gets me off and i dont watch porn often, much cuz it kinda grosses me out.
I took a break from sex and now its been an year since i lost my virginity. Recently i started seeing a girl im really into, we had some dates and things are going smoothly so far and i feel like im ready to start again, but im not sure what to do. How do i even enjoy sex? The ideia of being fingered or fingering, eaten or eating out or fucked or fucking someone with a strap is not that appealing to me anymore, it just makes me tired and think id rather do something else or all by myself.