Hi everyone!
I am a female 35 and I’m getting my bilateral salpingectomy on May 4th (Star Wars Day, very on brand for me) and I honestly have never felt more excited and at peace about a decision in my life.
At the same time I’ve been feeling a little alone in it.A lot of my friends say they support me, but then follow it with things like “omg you don’t want kids?” or “are you sure?” And it’s like… yes. I am very sure. I wouldn’t be scheduling a permanent surgery if I wasn’t 1000% completely confident in this choice.
I’ve known since I was young that I didn’t want children. It’s something I’ve struggled with internally for years not because I doubted myself, but because I constantly felt like I had to defend it. Like I was somehow wrong or not normal for being a woman who doesn’t want kids. I can’t really talk about this openly on my social media because of my family. My mom is very old school Italian and believes a woman’s success through marriage and children. I know if I told her it would turn into her feeling like she failed as a parent. But after years of therapy I’ve worked really hard to stop living for other people and start living for myself and this decision is a huge part of that. I’m 35, I have 3 degrees, I live on my own in this economy, I have my rescue animals, my hobbies, and a life that I genuinely love. I’ve been in long term relationships where the topic of kids came up and it caused me so much anxiety that I ended things. That alone told me everything I needed to know.
On top of that I’ve been dealing with birth control issues for years. I’ve had the copper IUD for over 15 years with constant pain and heavy bleeding that has led to low iron. I’ve also tried hormonal birth controls and had bad side effects with those too. So this decision is not just emotional, it’s about my physical health and quality of life. Another big factor is cancer risk. My family has a very heavy history of cancer. I’ve lost all of my grandparents and my dad to it and I’ve had precancer myself. Knowing this surgery can also help reduce certain cancer risks was huge for me.
One of the most validating parts of this process was my OBGYN. She has been seeing me since I was 15 and when I asked about this she didn’t question me at all. That alone felt like such a relief after hearing so many stories of women being denied or pushed back on.
My younger sister is taking care of me before and after surgery and her support means everything. She didn’t question it, she just understood me. I’ve been joking that I’m getting spayed which has at least made a few people laugh.
I would really love to hear from people who have gone through this, especially: • Your experience physically and mentally • Recovery timeline and what the first few days felt like • What helped most during healing • What you wish you had on hand • Food recommendations after surgery • Any tips for recovery with dogs
My doctor is doing it fully vaginally to avoid damaging my stomach tattoos, so if anyone has had that specific approach I would especially love to hear your experience.
I am very confident and happy in this decision, so I’m not looking for advice on whether I should or shouldn’t do it, just support, shared experiences, and recovery tips.Thank you for reading and for anything you’re willing to share.❤️