My husband (28M) and I (27F) have two young children (2 and 1). Recently, his father was diagnosed with cancer, and it’s been incredibly hard on him. Not long after, his mom had to have stents placed in her heart. In the past three weeks alone, he’s taken them to the ER at least five times. It’s been a lot, and I truly do understand how overwhelming and emotional that is. I’ve tried to be as supportive as I can, stepping up with the kids and continuing to work full time to keep things stable at home.
About two weeks ago, everything kind of blew up. He told me he wants to dissolve his real estate business and go back to school to become a doctor. His reasoning is that he wouldn’t be able to run the business while also committing to school full time.
The part that’s been really hard for me is that I’ve supported him building this business for the past four years. I worked full time, raised our newborns and toddler, and held everything together at home while he was able to focus fully on growing the business. It wasn’t easy, but now it’s finally at a point where it’s successful and can comfortably support our family. And now he wants to walk away from all of that.
I completely understand where this is coming from emotionally. Watching your parents go through serious health issues can change your perspective on everything. But at the same time, this decision doesn’t just affect him. It affects me and our kids too. Going back to school to become a doctor is a long, demanding, and expensive path, and his plan is to fully step away from the business while I continue working full time, take care of the house, and raise our children.
When I pushed back, things escalated. I told him I felt like he was being selfish and not thinking about how this would impact our family. Since then, he’s basically shut down. He hasn’t been speaking to me for the past two weeks. He stopped by this weekend to spend some time with the kids, but he’s been staying at his parents’ house in the meantime.
I feel really torn. I want to support him especially given everything he’s going through with his family. But I also feel overwhelmed, hurt, and honestly a little abandoned. It feels like I’m being asked to carry everything again, just when things were finally becoming stable.
AITA for not supporting my husbands goals?