How can I fix the brokenness of my family
Ive allways just wanted a happy family that didn't have to raise their voices to be heard or fight. Ive always had to be the mediator and the light of the misery.
As of that last year ive been trapped in a frame of my worse possible being. Im ashamed of my situation i always have been and its only made me less confident in my self knowing.
I have always had a hole to fill and nothing ive been able to achieve has been able to make those i love see me for who I am. I over give and never ask for help. And I cant expect to be saved from the ways i shrink. I minimize the hurt and forgive the nasty things people have caused me to see in my life. I just want the best for the ones that deserve it. Im always been the one to beat my own self down in fear of being seen. Its not a petty or a manipulation when abuse is involved. I wished the way you spoke to me hadn't been to brke my whole brain and heart and make me a scary person to know. Im afraid im locked out of my future because you stole the one thing I would've done the most for.
The way we connect with each day and who we care about is so important. I can see how this world needs more care and humility. I can tell you I dont understand how many sat down to use my trama against me just made me stronger and more human. Real is what I need and if you cant be that then how Am I supposed to think this isn't just a living nightmare