For bilingual or trilingual people: what language(s) do you write in and why?
TLDR: read the title :)
So I've got a "problem" of speaking 3 languages and being confronted with 3 languages in my daily life:
- I've grown up in Russia and Russian is my mother tongue. I still speak Russian with my family. I used to write a lot in Russian about 10 years ago, it was mostly fanfiction, but I did pour my soul into it and according to feedback I've got online I would say I was rather good in it.
- I've been living in Germany for the last 20 years though and German is my everyday language. However, for some reason I do not uderstand I despite reading books or watching movies/TV-shows in German.
- So now we come to the third language in my pocket - I've been reading books and watching shows in English also for at least 10-15 years now. I also would say it is a language I'm confronted with everyday as I read or watch something everyday.
And now to my actual problem. After a long writing pause, recently I've felt an urge to start writing again. I tried to write in Russian again and was apalled at how bad my writing and language skills had become. I just sat there and could not find the right words, literally just forgot what some words were called in Russian. It felt like trying to ride an old rusty bicycle which has not been oiled in centuries. The experience frustrated me and I kinda gave up.
Though my vocabulary is probably the biggest in German, it is not a "literary" vocabulary but mostly everyday vocabulary. It does not feel natural to me to write in this language.
Then I've tried to write stuff in English and surprisingly it felt the easiest to me. However, I'm still doubting my skills, my vocabulary, if the style is right, if I actually can convey my ideas properly, etc.. Also, I am aware that I make mistakes and that this will be a huge work to revise everything I write.
So basically I wanted to ask if anyone here had a similar experience. What was your way to solve language difficulties or what nudged you towards a certain language?