HCL vs powder anxiety? Want to try it for healing. Have questions
Wondering if somebody would be willing to help me.
I was on a medication called mirtazapine for several years. For PTSD, depression, anxiety.
I couldn't get off of it without getting sick. Finally it caused me so many side effects I had to get off of it and it took me a year. Last dose was September 2025. I'm on no medications at the moment
I had high hopes that microdosing would help me with my dysregulated nervous system. And I tried LSD and psilocybin standardized gummies, various doses. I just couldn't find any stability. There were ups and lack of focus on psilocybin, with occasional panic. The benefits were few and didn't last.
LSD was very bad, long come up, several hours of anxiety, And then sometimes a good day after, followed by a day or two of just horrible horrible anger and low mood. I found ginger tea helped the come up anxiety a little bit the other sides weren't worth it.
These experiences made me want just stability. But my mood has been really negative. My companion animal got a cancer diagnosis 6 months ago and it's been rough. I really hate living in the United States. I don't like the negativity that I feel from people and I don't really like leaving the house. I'm not functioning well.
I decided to get some San Pedro powder from a pretty good source. I tried dosing 50 mg and 75 mg. I got no positive effects from this, only anxiety and anger. I don't know what I did wrong but I wasn't really willing to go back to that angry place and lose another day to experiment more.
I really want to try and see if I can achieve the positive benefits of mescaline. I have a source for mescaline HCL And I'd like to give it a shot @20 mg. I think an ideal protocol would be that dose every other day for 3 weeks with one week off. And give that a few months time and see if anything changes for the positive. Problem is I can only get a gram of the HCL for $250. Now if I try this and I have the same negative side effects like come up anxiety that I got from the San Pedro powder...I may to be angry and feel like I wasted more time and money.
Can anyone give me some insight into this? Maybe some advice. Is HCL going to include the side effects I got from San Pedro?
Thank you anyone who may see this.
Edit: I had to change something I felt sounded a little wrong.