What to do? What would you do?
Lies. How would you cope?
I’ve stayed quiet for a long time, but with my niece’s 1st birthday approaching, I can’t ignore this anymore.
My daughter Ebony passed away when she was just a month old. That loss is something I carry every day. I bonded with her deeply — even if, as someone who is autistic, I don’t always express emotion in ways that are easily recognized by others.
What I will not stay silent about anymore are the things that have been said about me.
My brothers and their mom have told people that I didn’t bond with Ebony, that I was detached, and that I didn’t love her the way a mother should. Those statements are false. They take the most devastating experience of my life and twist it into something unrecognizable.
Now that I have access to the unredacted report, I can see how similar claims were documented by a public health nurse. Seeing those same narratives written down, repeated, and reinforced — knowing they helped shape how I’ve been perceived — makes me feel sick.
This is how harm happens: a story gets told, then repeated, then treated as truth.
As my niece’s birthday approaches, I am being forced to decide whether I can stand in the same space as people who have contributed to that narrative about me.
I deserve to be seen truthfully. I deserve to have my grief respected. And I will not continue to carry lies in silence to make others comfortable.
So I’m asking this honestly:
How do you confront false narratives when they come from family? What does accountability even look like in situations like this?
Because right now, I’m trying to figure out whether showing up means strength… or self-betrayal.
🤍
Lies. How would you cope?.