u/Hahaveryfunnylaughed

I always hear how women are constantly victims of "objectification" and how it’s one of the most dehumanizing aspect of the female experience. The logic is that when men focus on a woman's body, they are reducing her to a "walking fleshlight." This sentiment has reached a point where women now explicitly reject cold approaches, the reasoning being that because a man knows nothing of their personality, his only possible motivation for speaking to them is a shallow, dehumanizing value of her physical form. For whatever reason you believe this sounds reasonable it is a complete mischaracterization of male intent and experience.

Imagine you are at the gym playing pickup basketball. You see a guy who seems like he is really good and you immediately want him on your team. You don't know his life story, his desires, his motivations, what type of personality he has. All you assume is that he is good at the game. In this scenario, no one would accuse you of "objectifying" him or treating him like a "basketball-playing robot." It would be nonsensical. Even if you eventually get to know him and realize you don’t just don’t actually like him as a person. Assume you don’t have the same sense of humor, you find his style of conversation boring, or he isn’t intelligent in a way that you would stimulate you the way want in a friend. It isn’t a moral failing to still want to play basketball with him. You are valuing a specific trait for a specific activity.

So why is this logic abandoned when it comes to sex? It’s not like this isn’t something women don’t understand. They’re capable of experiencing physical attraction. They know what it’s like to only know someone is physically attractive while simultaneously not viewing them as an object. If a person wants to engage in a specific activity with you that they find enjoyable, why would you ever assume they are necessarily "refusing to acknowledge" your personality, your humanity? And assuming they are indifferent, or even have a negative reaction to your personality, who cares?

You might have a personal preference to be valued for your mind, but a man’s lack of interest in your personality isn't a "moral failing." It’s simply a lack of care or potentially knowledge of traits that are irrelevant to the immediate activity. A man approaches you because he thinks you’re hot, ok. This isn’t dehumanizing. He isn't denying you your rights or your personhood. He isn't trying to cause you harm in fact, he wants to engage with you because you are a human capable of that interaction.

So, why is this labeled as "evil"? This might be a little off topic but if we’re being honest it’s a tool that allows women with less motivation for sex than men a way to hold men accountable and shame male nature. You have to think about this lol. Women get approached for sex and are complimented so often they are repulsed by it. You can’t say “it’s bad for someone to be physically attracted to me”. No one would take a claim like that seriously. By labeling visual attraction as "objectification" and "dehumanizing," society creates a mechanism to shame men into compliance. Which in turn allows women to shame the male gaze when it's unwanted while still engaging in sex on their own terms when they choose.