Hello everyone, I'm a 23M, and I just need to get this out of my soul. I have always been a pretty shy and introverted person. I always used to ran off from the other Kids around early infancy (3-8). I did not say a word until I was like 3 and had speech impediments. Never sobbed or laughed, according to my mother was very quiet even as a baby.
Then when I went to another country I could make more friends but only to a point. That was when I was (8-12). Time passed and around 13 everything started to change.
I just got bored of those friends, and found people to be really boring, plus, I always had a delayed puberty but very mature mentally; so out always felt out of touch and off school and pretty much most of societal scenarios.
When I left off to another country (USA), then I felt even worst, felt really uncomftable, and my anxiety and shyness got worse.
As a matter of fact, from 13 YO forward I saw now point in socializing, even with my own parents or family, but I always had alexythimia and it was really difficult to identity my own emotions. In those years I started to friendless and became really quiet and apathic. I just wanted to be left alone. No one else distrubing me.
Particularly, in high school, I felt very anxious, had morning sickness and git really scared and my heart seemed to get out of my chest. When teahcers screamed especially, I hated talking to people and even people speaking made me uncomfortable.
Every morning I would not even want to go to sleep early for I hated school, I had not motivation to be prepared, so I was like a zombie and hardly ate anything because of the stomach sickness (morning anxiety vomiting), I had not hunger. Same way I felt my peers were going through puberty really fast but not me, but at the same time I was more mature than them, and even more mature than the teachers, in a way; my ego didn't event want to listen to those teachers or anyone at all.
In short, HS years were prison time years for me. I simply hated the situation. I hated people. I saw no point. Where I'm going with this, (don't worry I'm 23 now and don't care much anymore) is to how can we create a safe space for people like me that have developed early schizoid traits (or whatever it may be) or those of any other personality disorder when we develop them so young.
There is a safe space for autistic kids and other types of disorders (more or less serious) but not for schizoid kids, we need schizoid pride and awareness. As an schizoid (self-diagnosed, most symptoms match) I would have suffered much less if there was a safe place for kids like me that were less social and had certain needs and impediments.
I want to hear what you think about this, is it a good idea and did you go through similar stuff, to see if I match the prospect?
Thanks.