u/Green-Scenery-354 — reddlx

A guy asked my hand for marriage (through arranged marriage which is the only form of relationship socially accepted in my country), and because I was so deprived of human contact and kept getting sexually harassed/assaulted whenever I secretly used dating/marriage apps, I said yes pretty much right away. He met my family and was accepted, and I was accepted by his family as well.

We were so close to getting married, until something in the back of my head kept telling me to ask him what he expects of me as a wife. He said he expects me to cook, clean, take care of future kids, and provide financially.

I was surprised because I thought at least he would be the one to provide financially if I was the one expected to doing all the housework and childcare alone.

I told him I was not expecting this and asked if he’d at least be willing to help with cooking, cleaning and future childcare since he expects me to be working too, and he responded as if I insulted him by even suggesting that, saying “I’m the man. How dare you? If I’m going to cook and clean then I might as well stay an unmarried bachelor, what would I need a wife for?” And he also said “You’re brainwashed by western ideologies and feminism thinking it’s ok for a man to share household duties” and even brought up his mother saying “Well my mom did all of this, worked, cooked, cleaned, took care of us with zero help of a babysitter or maid, and never complained nor had the audacity to ask my dad to cook or clean or change diapers.”

He said this is the norm now in our country, that women must work and provide, while also doing all the housework and childcare because that’s her job.

Of course, I said no and canceled the whole marriage plans. But this whole situation and what he said still makes my blood boil.