I have OCD and autism, but I feel like I have some form of psychosis or something
Hi all, I have OCD and autism, however, I am pretty sure I have some sort of psychosis. Let me explain. I have a full understanding of OCD. There are obsessions and compulsions, in order to get rid of the obsession, you do the compulsion. I know some people have pure O(CD), but I feel like some of my "obsessive" thoughts feel so strange and bizarre to me that they don't feel like OCD.
In my life, I have had beliefs about cameras being in my room broadcasting me and taking videos of me. I once thought that attractive-looking anime/cartoon characters were real and hated me and my mum. Bearing in mind I do not remember nothing about the camera delusion. I'm only going by what my mum told me.
Then in 2021, I thought about this real horse that was probably a human and was so aware that the horse had to be human. Also, I thought about my sister's ex boyfriend being an octopus. I felt like I had to protect him too. I loved him like you would a sibling. I still miss him, but I don't know why I thought he may be an octopus and also that horse.
Nowadays, I'm having thoughts about chicken eggs having the same characteristics as human eggs. Because of this thought, I now believe men hate women because human eggs = chicken eggs. Also, men hate women because women have to eat, drink, use the bathroom and have periods. I also have a lot of mental imagery regarding this beliefs. It's different from the OCD mental imagery.
I also have really vivid dreams and nightmares. Sometimes I cannot physically open my eyes and have to witness the nightmare - not that I want to.
Also, I feel like I am the chosen one because of the anime/cartoon characters. It's strange because I know they're not talking to me but I feel like they're sending me signals to become something better. It's hard to explain.
My brain also does this thing where I see a picture of someone I know on Facebook, for example, and then I see a picture of dog and then think that the person I saw on Facebook is that dog. He's trapped inside the dog's mind and body and is asking for help.
As I said earlier, a lot of this doesn't sound like OCD. I'm seeing the doctor on June 15th. The doctor tried to refer me to 2 different psychosis teams, but they both rejected me because one said I am already on antipsychotics and the other one said it doesn't sound like psychosis. I'm sorry, but to me this doesn't feel like OCD.