Does God answer prayers, or do we just interpret things as answers?
I was raised in a culturally Catholic environment: Catholic school, catechism, Mass, all of that. Eucharistic adoration of course! While I was in university I always attended. Anyway, over the years I drifted away from faith for many reasons, and right now I’d probably define myself as some sort of depressed agnostic leaning toward belief.
But despite everything, Christianity is still the religion I respect more than any other.
Ironically, one of the reasons is precisely that even Christ does not get the kind of response from God that many modern believers seem to expect.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, I know this is provocative, and no, I’m not interested right now in debates about the dual nature or dual will of Christ. That’s not the point right now.
What I mean is that in Gethsemane to me Christ clearly does not want to die like that. He prays. He asks. He suffers. On the cross he feels abandoned. There is something almost radically atheistic about the Cross itself, the silence of God. And strangely enough, that comforts me more than triumphant modern spirituality does.
It comforts me that even Jesus is not serene because earthly things magically become fine, but because somehow, while being crushed by reality itself, he still finds a reason for heavenly peace. And JESUS IS GOD, not some random wannabe preacher.
Which brings me to my actual question.
Have you ever seriously prayed for something and genuinely expected an answer?
Recently I’ve been exploring Mormonism. For those unfamiliar: Mormonism began in the 1830s with Joseph Smith, who claimed to have miraculously received a new scripture alongside the Bible, called the Book of Mormon. One of the central ideas in Mormonism is that a person can read this book, sincerely ask God whether it is true, and receive an answer through the Holy Spirit.
Now honestly, and regardless of whether Mormonism is true, false, or a fraud, is this method really that absurd?
Because when I read Scripture, it genuinely seems like people are expected to receive something from prayer.
“Ask and it shall be given unto you.”
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God.”
The Lord’s Prayer itself is a direct address to God.
So what exactly are we supposed to expect?
Because in my actual experience, prayer often feels like projecting one’s thoughts toward the sky in a more or less ordered way, and then quickly closing it with “in Jesus’ name, amen.”
And I struggle with many explanations of prayer. Things like:
“Prayer changes you, not God.”
“God answers through circumstances.”
“Silence itself is God’s answer.”
At that point it starts feeling less like communication WITH God and more like interpreting psychological states and external events through a religious lens.
I’ll give a stupid example.
Once I lost my phone in a park. I retraced the entire path, literally combing through the park trying to find it. Nothing.
Then I prayed something like:
“God, please let me find the phone and I’ll do X, but I need that phone for it.”
And one literal second later I found it.
Now… what exactly am I supposed to do with that?
Post hoc ergo propter hoc?
Coincidence?
Providence?
Projection?
Or literally nothing?
And then I immediately feel ridiculous, because why would God symbolically help me find a phone while millions of people pray not to starve, not to get bombed, not to lose their children?
I honestly cannot bring myself to believe that God will help me stop masturbating, send me a good wife if I become holy enough, give me a good job, or solve my life because I prayed hard enough.
It almost feels arrogant to expect that.
And yet I also cannot emotionally accept the idea that prayer is merely talking to yourself while imagining God.
That thought genuinely makes me feel sick inside.
And these are important questions. I’m not talking about praying to know who to bet on, or about trivial things.
Which is why, going back to Mormonism for a second, many ex-Mormons describe the whole “pray to receive an answer” framework as psychologically manipulative. Not because they experienced giant supernatural revelations, but because they slowly convinced themselves that feelings of peace, emotional warmth, inner comfort, or symbolic interpretations of events were direct communications from God.
And I understand both sides.
I don’t think most people are looking for dramatic miracles or voices from Heaven. I think they just want an answer clear enough that they can say:
“No, I’m not just being superstitious or talking to myself.”
But then what is prayer, really?
Where am I supposed to pour all my pain, my fear, my questions?
Because if the answer is ultimately:
“Talk to theology books.”
“Talk to other people.”
“Talk to ChatGPT.”
then honestly… that feels deeply depressing.
Sometimes it genuinely makes me want to leave God behind completely, because I never know where I’m supposed to hit my head anymore.
And online it often feels like people spend more time doing apologetics, fighting between Catholics, Protestants, Orthodox, Muslims, arguing about historical controversies, than actually talking about spiritual life itself.
So I’m genuinely asking for help here.
What is prayer supposed to be?
And what does an actual answer from God even look like?
Have you ever truly felt answered?