u/Great_Revolution2784

Im unsure if this will even post but basically, I keep trying to post in venting communities but they keep getting taken down and telling me I don’t have karma or just being removed by the auto mods. I’m not breaking the rules I don’t think?

Is there some sort of minimum amount of days I have to be active for or like verify myself in a community to post?? I mainly downloaded reddit to be anonymous and I tried about three different communities and they were all immediately removed. Sorry if this is a stupid question I’m just unsure

I wish I could just give up already I’m so sick of myself, this brain. I’m sick of this stupid brain. Why can’t I just exist the way everyone else does? They make it look so easy— living or maybe. I don’t know, I’m not sure. Yknow a lot of things don’t really make sense to me right now. I feel so out of place and insecure. I hate myself so much… :(

I’m so awkward and weird. Nobody my age wants to be my friend and they always call me names. I don’t understand what I do that’s so different from everyone else? They always look and laugh at me and it’s just this really odd feeling of like, what did I do? It’s as if I’m the joke— me simply existing is hilarious to them.

I’m a really sensitive person too, I don’t take these things lightly. I’m alone majority of the time I’m at school and whenever a teacher asks if I’m okay (because I’ll be sat by myself reading a book or eating at a lunch bench alone) I start sobbing. I pretend like being so alone doesn’t bother me, but it does. It’s not like I particularly want to be friends with anyone I’m surrounded by but sometimes I just have an overwhelming desire to have a friend, too. I like being alone, I can’t stand being around others for too long. I’m a very shy individual so I understand why they wouldn’t want to be my friend but they don’t have to treat me this way— you know? Like I’m some sort of plague.

I really just want to be a happy individual, I have so much love inside me and I would love to make a friend. I don’t like feeling suicidal but I’m starting to believe I should because it feels impossible to exist with autism and this fucking brain.

Idk all of this was written in a rush and it’s my first time ever really posting on social media so if nobody sees this that’s okay I’ll probably take it down anyways. Im mainly making this as a vent because I just feel so alone and I want to tell someone rather than just my journal. But if anyone wants to be my friend or idk even up to a chat I guess that could be pretty cool :p

I wish I could just give up already I’m so sick of myself, this brain. I’m sick of this stupid brain. Why can’t I just exist the way everyone else does? They make it look so easy— living or maybe. I don’t know, I’m not sure. Yknow a lot of things don’t really make sense to me right now. I feel so out of place and insecure. I hate myself so much… :(

I’m so awkward and weird. Nobody my age wants to be my friend and they always call me names. I don’t understand what I do that’s so different from everyone else? They always look and laugh at me and it’s just this really odd feeling of like, what did I do? It’s as if I’m the joke— me simply existing is hilarious to them.

I’m a really sensitive person too, I don’t take these things lightly. I’m alone majority of the time I’m at school and whenever a teacher asks if I’m okay (because I’ll be sat by myself reading a book or eating at a lunch bench alone) I start sobbing. I pretend like being so alone doesn’t bother me, but it does. It’s not like I particularly want to be friends with anyone I’m surrounded by but sometimes I just have an overwhelming desire to have a friend, too. I like being alone, I can’t stand being around others for too long. I’m a very shy individual so I understand why they wouldn’t want to be my friend but they don’t have to treat me this way— you know? Like I’m some sort of plague.

I really just want to be a happy individual, I have so much love inside me and I would love to make a friend. I don’t like feeling suicidal but I’m starting to believe I should because it feels impossible to exist with autism and this fucking brain.

Idk all of this was written in a rush and it’s my first time ever really posting on social media so if nobody sees this that’s okay I’ll probably take it down anyways. Im mainly making this as a vent because I just feel so alone and I want to tell someone rather than just my journal. But if anyone wants to be my friend or idk even up to a chat I guess that could be pretty cool :p