u/Great-Supermarket246

Hi everyone,

I’m 36M, currently in the US, and honestly I feel like I’ve hit a breaking point mentally and physically.

I came to the US in 2013 for my masters, struggled a lot during the journey, eventually graduated and joined a large Fortune 50 tech company where I’ve now worked for around 5 years (7 YoE total including India).

From the outside, things probably look stable. But internally, things have become extremely difficult over the last year.

The work culture has become brutal after reorgs and the AI race. Constant pressure, unrealistic deadlines, office politics, toxic management, fear of layoffs… it feels like everyone is expected to work nonstop now. I work mainly in frontend/UI development, and with AI tools rapidly changing things, I constantly feel insecure about the future too.

But more than work itself, I think loneliness has finally caught up with me.

I’ve lived alone for years now. No real support system here. No partner, no close friends nearby, no family. I’ve basically spent most of my life away from home since school itself, and I think I’ve reached a point where I just don’t have the emotional energy left to keep fighting everything alone.

I’m already on high BP medication and antidepressants now.

The saddest part is that I’ve started hating tech itself now. I used to genuinely enjoy programming earlier.

These days, on weekends, I sometimes go sit alone in movie theaters just to avoid thinking about work and to at least be around people for a few hours.

My parents are supportive and are encouraging me to return to India. Financially I have some savings and no major responsibilities yet.

What scares me is:

1. whether companies in India will even hire someone restarting like this
2. whether taking a career break would permanently damage things
3. whether I can find lower stress jobs at all anymore

At this point, I honestly don’t even care about high salary. I would happily take a lower paying role with decent WLB and human working hours.

I guess I just wanted to ask:

Has anyone returned to India in their mid thirties, and

1. Were you able to rebuild your life/career?
2. Would support roles / customer success / implementation / internal IT / product adjacent roles be easier mentally than SWE work?

Sorry for the long post. I think I’m just exhausted and trying to figure out whether returning home is giving up… or saving myself.

Hi all, looking for some advice, would be really helpful.

I’m 36M, single, living alone here in the US since almost 8 years. I came here in 2013 for my masters which took a long time to finish (7 years). Fortunately I was able to find a job on graduating and have been at the same (top F50 tech) company since. While things were going well initially, everything changed since last year. Toxic management, extreme stress and pressure due to AI push, office politics, etc… anyway, in total I have about 7 YoE now (5+ here in US).

I don’t want to write too much, but I’ve never had a good support structure in life. I was raised by mother, but was sent out to a different city for schooling pretty early in life, and since then I’ve always been by myself. Through schooling, bachelors, India work ex, and then here in US.. at this point, I just don’t have the strength to be alone anymore while constantly fighting the stress at work.

Things have become so bad that I often end up going to movie theaters every weekend just so I can not worry for a few hours and be around others for a while.

I’m already taking high BP medications and anti depressants since last year.

Every morning when starting the day I feel like I’ll end up having a stroke.

I’ve also started disliking tech with each day now. I was hired as a SWE in my role and was also promoted to Senior SWE but I’ve always done mainly front end UI development here, since there were plenty lot of backend resources here but not much in UI. So I got put in UI and guess what, the state where AI is at now, front end devs will be the first to get cut (already layoffs have started here).

This company does have an India division too but transferring can take several months (if it’s approved even) and even though, it’s the same toxic work environment and culture. I see devs in our offshore team having to work till 2/3 am every day and on weekends too, to meet these crazy management-imposed deadlines. I’m just DONE - I am no longer interested in the work or even in these crazy hours.

Fortunately my parents have been supportive, they are encouraging me to return. My only doubt is, because of my age. I don’t know if I’ll find opportunities in India now (not sure if this is true).

I’ve also been thinking of doing an MBA from India now for a pivot to a different space or maybe a tech adjacent space.

Regarding financials, I don’t have significant financial burden. I have some saving here which I can use for a while. Parents are still earning and have savings as well. No siblings, no spouse or kids.

I’m happy to take up any low paying job too in India, with a better WLB.

I am feeling completely lost, helpless and nowhere to go. Please share your thoughts and opinions on what I should do next. Thank you