u/Great-Employee-2077

I honestly don’t even know where to begin because there has been so much emotional abuse, manipulation, intimidation, and chaos over the last couple of years that I feel overwhelmed trying to explain it all clearly.

My ex and I share a son who will be 2 soon. We were never married. I was primarily a stay-at-home mom and caretaker for our son while he worked away from home for long periods of time. We also have my older daughter involved in this situation emotionally because she lived with us too.

Things became extremely unhealthy and unsafe emotionally. There were constant insults, threats, controlling behavior, degrading comments, and intense arguments. I ended up leaving with my daughter because I genuinely did not feel safe or stable staying there anymore. I sought therapy, psychiatric help, and treatment for postpartum mental health struggles after everything that happened. I have documentation showing I sought help and tried to stabilize myself.

Since leaving, my son’s father has refused to return him to me or allow normal parenting time. He says I “abandoned” our son even though I repeatedly told him I wanted continued contact and time with him. I’ve asked to meet halfway, asked for visits, asked for cooperation, and tried to keep communication calm and child-focused. Instead, I get accused of being unstable or unsafe.

I am not trying to take our son away from his father. I have even acknowledged that his father currently has a more financially stable environment than I do right now while I rebuild my life. What I want is:

a relationship with my son

consistent parenting time

shared legal custody

healthy communication

for my children to have a relationship with each other

Right now I feel completely powerless. He has family support and money for lawyers, and I’m trying to survive financially while also dealing with the emotional aftermath of this relationship.

I guess I’m posting because:

Has anyone dealt with a co-parent who weaponized custody after a breakup?

How do you communicate with someone emotionally abusive without making things worse?

Does it hurt me legally that I left the home because I felt unsafe?

How do you stay emotionally regulated when you miss your child this badly?

Please be kind. I’m already struggling a lot and just trying to figure out how to keep moving forward.

Location: Maryland / South Carolina

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice/support regarding custody and interstate family court issues.

In November 2025, I left an abusive relationship after my son’s father kicked my daughter and me out of the home. There were threats made, and I ended up staying in Maryland with my daughter while visiting her father. I have not returned to South Carolina since because I do not feel safe.

My son is still in South Carolina with his father and will be 2 years old on May 29. His father has refused to meet me halfway or make reasonable arrangements for me to spend time with my son. I have very limited financial resources right now and no family/support system. I was a stay-at-home mom with no income for most of the relationship and I’m currently trying to rebuild stability for myself and my daughter.

His father comes from a financially secure family and has hired an attorney. I’ve been told things like I’m “basically a surrogate” and should “sign off my rights,” which has been devastating. I do NOT want to lose my son. I also do not want to unnecessarily disrupt a stable environment while I get back on my feet. But I believe my son deserves a relationship with me and with his sister. My children have now been separated for 6 months.

The attorney claimed I was served custody papers on 3/20, but nothing ever arrived. I followed up multiple times and now the attorney will not respond to me. My son’s father has also not been honest with me, so I genuinely do not know what is actually happening legally.

I’m trying to understand:

What I should do next if I was supposedly served but never received anything

Whether I can participate remotely if something is filed in South Carolina

How to protect my parental rights while I work toward stability

What kind of visitation/custody arrangements courts typically allow in situations like this

Whether anyone has experience dealing with financial imbalance and coercion in custody cases

Please be kind. I’m heartbroken and trying my best to navigate this safely and responsibly.