I (16M) liked a (16F) for 5 years, wrote her a letter, asked her to prom as friends… and it’s been painful and awkward ever since. I just wanna leave the country now and go to a whole new place with no drama.
So I’ve liked this girl (let’s call her X) at my church for about 5 years. 6 months ago I finally gave her a heartfelt letter telling her how I felt and that I wanted to get to know her more. I never mentioned wanting to be her boyfriend or anything — just that I wanted us to get to know each other better. Around this time I kinda already knew she didn't feel the same way, but I still wanted to give her the letter because you never know.
She replied really nicely a few days later. She said she was impressed by my boldness, that the letter was sweet, she definitely wanted to continue our friendship and get to know me more over the years. She even apologized for taking long to reply because she talked to her sister first. That text gave me a lot of hope.
Since then we’ve been texting for 6+ months, but it’s been almost entirely one-sided. She would occasionally text me first but other than that I’m always the one initiating. Her replies are super dry and short, and she basically never starts conversations. In person she also barely talks to me and conversations feel forced. I started feeling early on that she wasn’t interested, but I kept trying as friends. Note that I NEVER asked if she liked me back or how she felt — I felt like she needed her time and space to think and I never wanted to pressure her.
A few months ago I asked her to prom (as friends — I even asked her dad first). She said yes but seemed unenthusiastic. I also paid for her prom ticket. Later I heard from a friend’s girlfriend that she told her we’re going strictly as friends and that she doesn’t like me. She also apparently said my letter was “a bit creepy” (might have been joking?).
I pulled back on texting to protect my own peace and mental health. Prom was last night and it was pretty awkward. We sat at a table with two other couples. She didn’t really talk to me much and kinda ignored my existence (which she would always do at church). During prom I would be walking around while most people were dancing, including her. She never asked me to join her or anything. I did mention beforehand that I suck at dancing but still.
A lot of people were joking/rude to me. Some said I should dance with her. I said I don’t owe her one and I’m respecting her boundaries while protecting my own peace because she clearly doesn’t like me or want to dance with me. My friends I feel were genuinely rude a lot of the time — like they think they’re joking/giving advice when they really aren’t. What hurt the most is that instead of joking about me getting ditched or telling me I “sold,” I really wish someone had just asked if I was okay or how I felt about it. Her brother-in-law and my other friend’s girlfriend both made comments like “don’t you have a date? bro she ditched you” in a non-remorseful way.
I talked to the guys on the porch while the couples left and told them they don’t understand. I get that they’re joking but my friend said they are trying to understand and I said “but you don’t.”
I just wanted to get this off my chest. I’m not mad at her for not liking me — you can’t force someone to like you. Yeah sure I’m sad. I’ve never wanted to fall on my knees and sob uncontrollably before but here I am. I’m sad about it, not mad at her. I just really wish she was more honest about it because even now I still don’t know what she thinks about all this. Clearly she doesn’t like me but I would just like to know her thought process. Oh yeah, she also left early and told one of my friends to say bye for her to me :/
Also I forgot to put in a lot of things so if y’all have any questions I will gladly answer.